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grndmudder 
I SIMPLE CAN'T KEEP COMING TO DS . I AMVERY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW. THE HOLIDAYS AND THE LOSS OF MY NEPHEW RECENTLY, AND I AM NOT GOING TO MY COUNSELER ANYMORE. ( MONEY/ INSURANCE)
I JUST COME ON AND I READ AND I CRY. I JUST CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW. I HAVE SO MANY OF YOUR STORIES BURNED IN MY HEART. I LOVE ALL OF YOU. IT HURTS TO DO THIS, BUT RIGHT NOW, I JUST THINK IT IS HURTING ME MORE THAN HELPING ME. I KNOW MANY HAVE SAID I HELPEP JUST BY MY SURRVIVING ALL I HAVE. I AM SO GLAD AND GRATEFUL FOR THAT. RIGHT NOW THOUGH I AM BURNED OUT AND I NEED TO REST AWHILE. I HOPE I'LL BE BACK SOON.
EACH OF YOU HAVE YOUR OWN GRIEF AND YOUR OWN DEMONS TO FIGHT. I KNOW THIS OH TOO WELL. MY LOVE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU OR MY PRAYERS. I'LL CHECK IN FROM TIME TO TIME AND LET YALL KNLW I AM AND I WILL BE OK. I MADE IT THIS FAR I WILL NOT QUIT NOW. LOVE TO ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS,PEGGY
Comments
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EVEN BEGIN THIS. i HAVE BEEN SLIPPING INTO MY YEARLY HOLIDAY DEPRESSION FOR A WHILE NOW. bEEN TRYING TO STAY BUSY AND TIRE MYSELF OUT. i WANT TO SLEEP, BUT THAT JUST SEEMS TO ELUDE ME FOR THE MOST PART.
I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, BECAUSE I WENT TO THE ORTHOPEDIC SPECIALIST WITH MY WRIST THAT I HURT IN MY CAR WRECK. HE GAVE ME THE MOST PAINFUL CORTISOINE SHOTS I HAVE EVER HAD. I HAVE HAD THEM IN MY KNEES,SHOULDERS,BACK AND NECK. I HAVE HAD FLUID TAKEN OUT OF MY KNEE. NOTHING COMPARED TO THESE 2 SHOTS. MAYBE BECAUSE THE WRIST HAS DAMAGE TO THE MUSCLES, AND OTHER SOFT TISSUE AND MAYBE DAMAGE TO A NERVE, AND OF COURSE IT WAS ALREADY SWOLLEN, INFLAMMED, SORE, AND JUST GENERALLY HURT. NOW THE DR. HAS ME IN A HARD MOLDED PLASTIS/RUBBER SPLINT. IT HAS MY HAND ALL THE WAY TO MY ELBOW IMMOBILIZED. I WON'T BE TYPING FOR AWHILE AFTER THIS JOURNAL. I WILL MISS YALL AND I WILL STILL READ MY MAIL. TYPING IS JUST TOO HURTFUL AND HARD,TAKES FOREVER TOO.
I GOT A CALL FROM MY EXHUSBAND LAST NIGHT. MY BOY'S DAD. SOON AS I HEARD HIM ON THE PHONE MY HEART SANK, BECAUSE I KNEW SOMTHING WAS BAD WRONG. I WAS MARRIED TO HIM 13 YEARS AND I LOVED HIS FAMILY. HIS MOTHER JUST PASSED ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO, AND I FELT LIKE I HAD LOST ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. SHE LOST A SON IN A CAR ACCIDENT WHEN HE WAS 34, AND A DAUGHTER IN A MOTORCYCLE CRASH AT 23. FOR ALL THOSE YEARS I WONDERED HOW SHE NOT ONLY SURRVIVED, BUT WAS THE KINDEST, MOST GENEROUS,LOVING, AND HAPPY PEOPLE I EVER MET.
HOW COULD I EVER HAVE GUESSED THAT HER SON AND ME WOULD ALSO LOOSE TWO CHILDREN, AND HAVE TO SURRVIVE. SHE HAD 4 REMAINING KIDS, WHERE WE HAD NO MORE, BUT I KNOW HER PAIN WAS NO LESS THEN OURS. THAT LADY WAS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW A TRUE CHRISTIAN SHOULD BEHAVE. I NEVER HEARD HER SAY A BAD THING ABOUT ANYONE IN ALL THE YEARS I KNEW HER.
I WAS RIGHT JOHN, MY EXHUSBAND CALLED TO TELL ME THAT HIS BROTHER RONNIE, WHO IS 52 LOST HIS SON RON JR. ON TUES. NOV 10TH IN A ,MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT. RON JR. WAS 31.
JOHN AND I WERE MARRIED 13 YEARS, AND NOT SO HAPPILY, BUT HIS FAMILY IS A GREAT ONE. WE ALWAYS GOT TOGETHER AND WENT TO THE PARK TO PALY BALL OR WENT CRAWFISHING, OR JUST ALL WNT TO "GRANDMA'S" HOUSE AND LET THE KIDS PLAY.
RON JR AND MY SON STEVEN'S BIRTHDAYS WERE BOTH APRIL 14TH (STEVEN WAS 9 WHEN RON WAS BORN, AND HE WAS SO TICKLED THAT HE WAS BORN ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
MY YOUNGEST, PAUL WAS ONLY 4
YR OLDER THAN RON AND THEY REMAINED CLOSE UP UNTIL PAUL DIED. THEY SPENT TIME TOGETHER WHEN PAUL WAS IN LOUISIANA, AND THEY CALLED EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.
I HAVE CRIED AND CRIED SOME MORE. I USED TO BE CLOSE TO RON SR AND DEB HIS WIFE, AND WITH ALL OF THE CHILDREN. THEY HAD 2 GIRLS AND RONNIE JR. I AM SO LOST. I WANT TO WRITE THEM, AND YET I KNOW ANYTHING I SAY IS SO USELESS AND SO PETTY WHEN THEY ARE GOING THROUGH WHAT THEY ARE.
I HAVE BEEN THER TWICE, YET I AM STILL HELPLESS TO SAY OR DO ANY DAMN THING FOR THEM.
HOW MUCH SHOLD 1 FRAEKIN FAMILY HAVE TO CARRY? I KNOW I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK THAT. I DON'T BLAME GOD, OR QUESTION HIS WAYS. I KNOW ALL WILL BE WELL WITH US SOMEDAY BECAUSE WE LOVE GOD AND BELIEVE IN HIM.
PLEASE KNOW I WILL NOT BE FAR. I WILL READ WHAT YALL WRITE. I JUST CANNOT ANSWER MUCH. IT TOOK ME HOURS TO TYPE THIS. I AM HURTING IN MY CHEST STILL, AND MY WRIST. I BELIEVE THE DR. DOES NOT THINK HE CAN DO MUCH TO HELP ME. IT IS A MONTH ALREADY SINCE THE WRECK. THE WEATHER HAS CHANGED HERE, AND IT IS IN 40'S HERE. IT DOES NOT FEEL COLD TO ME, AS I HAVE SPENT WINTERS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE AND IN VIRGINIA. BUT MY ARTHRITIS AND FIBROMYALGIA ARE BOTH FLARED UP FROM WEATHER, AND STRESS.
ALL OF YOU PRAY FOR MY PHYSICAL BEING AND FOR MY MIND, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I AM LOOSING IT. I FEEL HELPLESS AND LIKE ALL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SHOULD ENABLE ME TO HELP RONNIE'S PARENTS AND FAMILY. YET I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.
THANK YOU ALL MY FAMILY. MY SISTERS OF THE HEART, AND WE HAVE A FEW BROTHERS TOO. I LOVE EACH OF YOU, AND EACH OF YOU HAVE HELPED AND COMFORTED ME IS SOME WAY AT SOME TIME. IF I SEEM ABSENT, REMEMBER I AM JUST A LITTLE WOUNDED RIGHT NOW.
I LOVE YOU ALL, AND THANK EACH OF YOU.LOVE PRGGY
UPDATED GOALS
improve my depression
Progress 50%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
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My dear sweet Peggy! I have no words of wisdom for this one,...all I want to do is to be there with you and hug you and let you lean on me. Yes, of course, prayers will be said for the family, and of course, for you, my friend. I will call you maybe next week, as I have been very ill. I love you, dear friend, and you are not alone.----I am with you! Love, Judy
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I am so sorry for another loss for your family.. you are in my heart dear friend and know that you are loved here..
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Wow...you guys have been through so much...it just breaks my heart...and then add physical pain in there..I just want you to know that I am sending you a hug and prayer for strength...love to you..Karen
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Hi Peggy,
I am so sorry for all this pain that seems to deluge your life. I certainly understand the holiday depression . You may be selling yourself short in writing admiring words on your ex mil for you are the one I admire and see the same positive qualities as you describe for someone else.
I pray for added strength and for God to assist in holding you up a bit more then the usual. Hugs. Inga
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Hi Peggy, I don't even know what to say to you, dear friend! You are going through so much right now. I think of you often and hold you dear to me and pray for you. Please do not worry about answering me if I write. Love to you, Belinda
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Oh Peggy, I am so sorry for all of this grief in your life! Please stay strong and try to stay positive. You have been there for all of us so many times, I only hope that we can help you through this. Please let us know how you're doing once in a while if you can, so we don't worry. In the meantime maybe you can try to read positive affirmations on line, or some good books, or watch some funny movies so you can try to stay out of the darkness. I will pray for you to heal and to find strength during this time. Here are some verses that I have posted on my desk at work:
"You need to remain calm, the Lord will fight for you" Exodus 14:14
God's job is to fight. Our job is to trust. Just trust. Not direct or question. Or yank the steering wheel out of His hands. It is our job to pray and wait. Nothing more is necessary. Nothing more is needed. by Max Lucado
We love you and care for you. We're here for you.
Love, Julia
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Hey all of you wonderful friends. I am having a hard time, but I have sure had MUCH HARDER. My arm is a pain to work with and it hurts. I go to the DR with it tomorrow. I am sure he will tell me, "wait some more and come back." I am doing all right. I guess this is just small compared to some stuff. Thank you all I love you all. I will continue to read yalls journals and stuff. LOVE Peggy
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my dear Peggy,
all I can do is pray that your pain goes away...the physical pain will eventually go away and the emotional pain will subside...I am praying hard for you to get well...rest your body...rest your mind
all my love
~Donna
Hello everyone,
I just wrote a journal Mon about this time. Here I am back Tues 4:00 AM.
Well yea things can happen so fast. We all know that.
I was stopping at a red light today, the people in front of me stopped pretty fast, and so I had to as well. I was not speedingg or doing anything goofy. The you man behind me slammed into the back of my car. The impact knocked me into the car ahead of me. The air bag went off, and I was just dazed and confused, it happened so fast, then there is another Boob and another Boom. Like dominos. My glasses flew off and the air bag releases powder into the car. The young man that hit me was only 21. He was so scared (me too) he was trying to get to me , but the drivers door was either bloocked or would not open. (I didn't and still haven't seen the car.)
We wew directly in front of the fire station, so the fire/rescue were there in a minute. They got me out, and ask me where I hurt. That would be just about everywhere. My blood pressure went way up, but it was just because I was scared, and hypervenelting. I am real claustrophibic, and they put the neck thing and strapped me down.
No one else was hurt either.
James met me at the ER. They checked, and examined and xrayed. Nothing is broken and no cuts. Lots of brusiaes, and my lower back is swollen and has bad spasms.
My back problems have always been higher and in my neck. I hope this is not permenant. I do not need more pain.
I believe I was in a miricle. I think all our angels surrounded and protected me. I am able to walk, and talk and I am going to be very bruised and hurt, but I am all right. I walked from the ER to the car. If I keep moving I will get better sooner. I will get stiffer if I just lay around.
I am walking around in the house. I sat up and ate and watched tv. I lay down and now I had to go potty and get a drink. Everyone Give a prayer of thanks.
Now I am still having computer problems, and expect a new computer after Oct. 22. I also hurt too bad to sit in this chair on this old desk top. It is ancient and slow, and half works.
I will pray and think of you all. Please do the same for me and James, and my grandkids. They get all afraid because they have lost so many loved ones. I love you all,Peg
Comments
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Oh Peggy! You're going to be pretty stiff for a while, but praise the Lord, no serious injuries. I guess we're all pretty fragile when it comes to the well being of our loved ones after our loses. I can understand the fear of losing anyone else. All my prayers for a speedy recovery. Love, Dianne
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That is so frightening. I am glad you are okay. Take care of your back.
Hugs, Barbara
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Peggy,
OMG!!! I am sooo glad you are ok . I hear those airbags can cause more damage and pain then without them sometimes in slower speeds. Hugs, Inga
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God Bless you, my dear friend! I will be praying daily for your comfort and healing,..you can count on it! Love you! Judy
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I am so glad you are okay... take care of yourself my love...
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Glad you are ok...just take care of yourself - a little extra TLC for a few days.
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Oh Peg, I am so thankful that you are okay! Rest up, my friend. Love, Belinda
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I was so happy to see your email, untill I read what took place. Thank God your OK. Your guardian angel must have been with you. Will keep you and yours in my prayers as always.....Love to you, Pat
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Oh sweetheart, you must have been scared to death. I was hit from behind years ago and the noise alone was horrible. I'm so glad that you are ok, and home resting. Please take good care of yourself, and keep us posted on how you are feeling.
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So glad that you are okay. Yes do move around so that you don't get stiff. Will be thinking of you, let us know how you are doing.
Past Entries
Goal Updated
Peggy,
Take care of yourself , we will still be here once you are ready to return Hugs, Inga
ihart
Take care.
dougadoug
Take care of yourself my love...
munrogirl
Peggy, please write to me any time. Do what is the best for you, sweet friend. Love to you, Belinda
BinkyH
You are so loved here. I'm sure at some point you will return and we will be here with open eyes. Love to you, Pat
tomtom
Peggy it is hard to see story after story of moms feeling the same pain as yourself. I think that you need to do what is right for you. You have to guard your heart and your health. Anytime that you want to come back do...I look forward to that day. Love and prayers for health and peace...Karen
biowoman
I understand and want only what's best for you. When/if you feel able to rejoin us we will be waiting with open arms and open hearts. Until then you remain in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Teri
RememberKala
I want only the best for you. I am so sorry your hurting hun. I will keep you in my prayers. When you are able stop in, we will be here. (((((Hugs))))
DDyer