Better After Christmas?
January 5, 2009 10:27pm
I had it in my mind as I passed My oldest son, Steven's first Angel date DEC 10th.And of course Thanksgiving and Christmas. For a …
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grndmudder’s Profile
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About Me
Female 55 years old. I had 2 sons. The youngest, Paul died at the age of 29 April3, 2003 from an accidental drug overdose.He was an addict for many years and drank too. In July of 2005 I had breast cancer. It is in remission so far.December 10, 2007 my older son Steven committed suicide at the age of 38. I am lucky to be married to a good man, James who is also my best friend. I have a grandson, 20, he is married, and 3 grand daughters, ages 16, 15, and 11. I am crying and struggling mostly.
Interests
I like to read. I like all kinds of music. I love playing with my grand children. I am from Louisiana originally, been ib Florida 19 years.I am just barly feeling sain. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and twisted. I cry alot. I am working on myself thou. Trying to get better.
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Recent Activity
Today
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grndmudder replied to missy12358104’s discussion post what would you say to the Travolta family? in the Bereavement support group 12:56am
My deepest sympathy and sorrow for the whole family. They can take refuge in each other and their love,…
Yesterday
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grndmudder gave seansmom1 a hug 11:47pm
Work can be a good distraction sometimes, but do not get your self all worn out. You have to use your…
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grndmudder commented on enfieldguy’s journal entry Settling back into home life.... 11:39pm
Welcome home!I am glad the trip is behind you. It will just take a while to get back into your routine…
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grndmudder commented on CynK’s journal entry Another year older and no wiser.... 10:17pm
It does NOT sound horrible at all about dreading the phone calls. I feel exactly the same way. I wish…
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grndmudder commented on startinanew’s journal entry Nails in the fence.... 8:37pm
The Bible speaks of this alot. In one place it says it is not what goes in a mans mouth that defiles…
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Journal
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It Is Over!
December 29, 2008 6:38am
Here we are still alive and kicking on December 29th. Well it is 5:30 AM and I am still awake. That is all right. I …
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HO-HO BOO-HOO
December 5, 2008 1:44am
Here I go again trying to fake my way through another Christmas.I thought it was hard after Paul died . Now here I go again …
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About My Goal
November 8, 2008 1:23am
I had started to really be doing good with my life for a while. I had lost my youngest son, Paul, April3,2003. I had rebuilt a diffrent sort …
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Do Not Expect Much From Me
October 25, 2008 8:55pm
Well everyone Thanksgiving is the beginning of my Holidays. It was my favorite, even over Christmas. My son Steven always cooked a turkey for us, and …
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Hugbook
I’m With You
Hi Peggy, I no longer have a goal of ever being my old self again and that is what it is. The only thing I can do is be the new best that I can be. What we are going through is not meant to be and you have the extra burden of 2 sons and I feel for you. T|here is no way that I can know exactly how you, feel all I can do is be here for you. Hugs, Inga
Well Done
Oh what good news, Peggy! Yes, yes, this is great news! Please know how important the meds are, and with the resolve you have in your heart to make sure you stay on schedule, that should surely help you! The other part certainly can't hurt you, and what doesn't hurt, has to help, right? Talking to someone is very helpful to some. I am sure that you might have this problem he mentioned because I know how I feel and you have gone through so much more than me,..for sure, I would be ALL THE WAY crazy! You are a very strong person, Sweetie, don't ever forget that, or you wouldn't have survived all that you have! I hesitate to tell you, but I know you would kick my butt if I held anything back. (smile) I have been feeling kinda down and sad since yesterday, and I don't know why! I did get some bad news about a friend (cancer) but this feels different. I feel myself (forcing myself) to smile, and like I am always on the verge of tears, so unlike me! It was so good to hear from you and I am so happy that you have a plan to help yourself! I love you, dear friend,..and I need you in my life! Tight Hugs! Judy
Hug
Hello Peggy. I hope your feeling better. Just know your special and I'm here anytime you want to talk. Love and hugs, Pat
Hug
hello...just sending random hugs to random people in need...i hope that you feel better soon! keep your head up. if you need to talk, even though you don't know me...i'm here.
Hug
hugging u tight my friend...hang in there...luv ya
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Photos
grndmudder hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ChildMy 29 year old son,Paul died of an accidental drug overdose April 3, 2003. My 38 year old son,Steven commited suicide Dec, 10th 2007. I am childless now. I do have grand children from both sons.I am not doing well. I can hardly drag myself out of bed. Some days. I don't. I do not sleep though. I need people that understand the diffrent types of grieving . Saddness,anger, and so on. I need to hear I am not alone in my grief and crazyness.I lost step daughter AUG. 22 08.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- just leads to anger I am disabled.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- just makes me tired
- Grief Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- I went to grief counseling for a few months. It was just too much for me. I could not handle the emotioal upheaval it brings. I can cope better without it.
- Helping Others Considering
- My disabilities are very limiting. I am not able to keep a regular scedule. If I have a bad pain day,I cannot do much. I do help people I know, and people I meet.
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes I am able to cocentrate well enough to read. I also go to my grandchildren's sports and activities, weater I feel like it or not.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I do listen to music some, but am not real interested. Like I used to be.
- Pets Not Working
- I had my 18 year old companion dog put down Last week. She was in oain, and deaf and blind. She stopped eating. The VET said when she stopped eating it was time. So we had her put to sleep.
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I am a Chistian, and trust God. He will Help me find the way.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Problems concentrating
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- They have all had to go home and back to work. They canot baby sit me.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Hard to tell. It makse me cry alot, and I hate that, but I can talk
- Time Somewhat Helpful
- I know it helped with my father and my first sons death. This time it has just brought back my first son's death abd there is just double pain and grief.
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Groups
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