SAD
November 21, 2009 2:20pm
I SIMPLE CAN'T KEEP COMING TO DS . I AMVERY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW. THE HOLIDAYS AND THE LOSS OF MY NEPHEW RECENTLY, AND I AM NOT GOING TO MY …
Progress
50 %
grndmudder
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About Me
grndmudder
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About Me
Female 56 years old. I had 2 sons. The youngest, Paul died at the age of 29 April 3, 2003 from an accidental drug overdose.He was an addict for many years and drank too. In July of 2005 I had breast cancer. It is in remission so far.December 10, 2007 my older son Steven committed suicide at the age of 38. My sons half sister Karla also killed herself 4 days after Stevens Memorial Service. My oldest son felt guilty for Paul's death, Partly surrving his baby brother (there was 5 yrs. between them)and partly because he gave Paul his first Pot years ago.) Steven stopped the nonsense, Paul never could he got deeper and deeper.Karla thought that she had not helped Steven enough and had not been there for him. What an awful chain reaction. A train wreck to my heart. I am lucky to be married to a good man, James who is also my best friend.married 20 yr. friends for 28 yr.) I have a grandson, 21, he is married, and has a son born March 32, 09, and 3 grand daughters, ages 16, 15, and 11. I am crying and struggling mostly.When Steven died 5 years after Paul, it just ripped the scar I had begun to make on my grief and pain.Then Karla, not my daughter, my ex husband's, but she was very dear to us and I miss her smile and her sweetnes.I can't seem to move forward much. Once in a while I will forget for a few hours of blessed peace, but the pain comes hitting me all over again. I don't know how to cope.
Female 56 years old. I had 2 sons. The youngest, Paul died at the age of 29 April 3, 2003 from an accidental drug overdose.He was an addict for many years and drank too. In July of 2005 I had breast cancer. It is in remission so far.December 10, 2007 my older son Steven committed suicide at the age of 38. My sons half sister Karla also killed herself 4 days after Stevens Memorial Service. My oldest son felt guilty for Paul's death, Partly surrving his baby brother (there was 5 yrs. between them)and
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Interests
I like to read. I like all kinds of music. I love playing with my grand children. I am from Louisiana originally, been in Florida 19 years.I am just barly feeling sain. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and twisted. I cry alot. I am working on myself though. Trying to get better.
I like to read. I like all kinds of music. I love playing with my grand children. I am from Louisiana
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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3 journal comments, 2 hugs received
Yesterday
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grndmudder wrote a journal entry: SAD 2:20pm
I SIMPLE CAN'T KEEP COMING TO DS . I AMVERY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW. THE HOLIDAYS AND THE LOSS OF MY…
Wednesday
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grndmudder commented on TRENTONLEEMOM’s journal entry Still counting 3:12pm
WE CAN ALL DO MUCH MORE THAN WE EVER THINK OR DREAM WE CAN AT FIRST. I AM GLAD YO CAN SEE THIS NOW. LOVE…
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grndmudder commented on ForMomsOnly’s journal entry Journal Entry for November 11, 2009 3:09pm
I LOST BOTH OF MY CHILDREN AND MY STEP DAUGHTER. I CAN TRULY UNDERSTAND ALL THE PAIN EACH MOM FEELS.…
Monday
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grndmudder commented on their journal entry SAD 5:02pm
Hey all of you wonderful friends. I am having a hard time, but I have sure had MUCH HARDER. My arm is…
November 14
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grndmudder wrote a journal entry updating their improve my depression goal 12:37am
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EVEN BEGIN THIS. i HAVE BEEN SLIPPING INTO MY YEARLY HOLIDAY DEPRESSION FOR A WHILE…
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Journal
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SAD
November 14, 2009 12:37am
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EVEN BEGIN THIS. i HAVE BEEN SLIPPING INTO MY YEARLY HOLIDAY DEPRESSION FOR A WHILE NOW. bEEN TRYING TO STAY BUSY …
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What A day!
October 13, 2009 4:26am
Hello everyone,
I just wrote a journal Mon about this time. Here I am back Tues 4:00 AM.
Well yea things can happen so fast. We all …
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Here I Still Am
October 11, 2009 5:21am
I have not written a journal in a month. I just finished half of one and it disapeared for no apparent reason. I hate …
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I am still here!
September 9, 2009 3:31pm
First I am so sorry I have not been here for all of you. My friend's dog ate my lapto power cord and it shorted out something …
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Hugbook
Hug
Just thinking about you today. I hope you're doing ok. Stay strong. We're here.
Love, Julia
Ray of Sunshine
Thinking of you and hope your feeling well today. God Bless You.
Hug
Thank you so much! I hope you are well. Love & Hugs
Hug
Peggy,
Thanks so much for the hug and for "your story". We are "miracles" of God and thank your husband and relatives for me who have served this country. They have my deepest respect. God Bless.
Hug
Peggy, my welcome pages shows the hurricane Ida in your are. Praying it doesn't hit shore. Weather is beautiful and I have an appoint. to have my throat checked.
Rather be home working around the yard...Wishing you and James a safe and blessed day. Pat
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Photos
grndmudder hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ChildMy 29 year old son,Paul died of an accidental drug overdose April 3, 2003. My 38 year old son,Steven commited suicide Dec, 10th 2007. I am childless now. I do have grand children from both sons.I am not doing well. I can hardly drag myself out of bed. Some days. I don't. I do not sleep though. I need people that understand the diffrent types of grieving . Saddness,anger, and so on. I need to hear I am not alone in my grief and crazyness.I lost step daughter AUG. 22 08.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- just leads to anger I am disabled.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- just makes me tired
- Grief Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- I went to grief counseling for a few months. It was just too much for me. I could not handle the emotioal upheaval it brings. I can cope better without it.
- Helping Others Considering
- My disabilities are very limiting. I am not able to keep a regular scedule. If I have a bad pain day,I cannot do much. I do help people I know, and people I meet.
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes I am able to cocentrate well enough to read. I also go to my grandchildren's sports and activities, weater I feel like it or not.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I do listen to music some, but am not real interested. Like I used to be.
- Pets Not Working
- I had my 18 year old companion dog put down Last week. She was in oain, and deaf and blind. She stopped eating. The VET said when she stopped eating it was time. So we had her put to sleep.
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I am a Chistian, and trust God. He will Help me find the way.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Problems concentrating
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- They have all had to go home and back to work. They canot baby sit me.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Hard to tell. It makse me cry alot, and I hate that, but I can talk
- Time Somewhat Helpful
- I know it helped with my father and my first sons death. This time it has just brought back my first son's death abd there is just double pain and grief.
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Groups
