Journal

What a way to start the day

Early one spring morn

The sun is shining the birds they sing

I love it that you wear my ring

What started out as friendship

has blossomed and bloomed

turned into something beautiful and new

I loved to watch you sleep

So peaceful and so true

I would wake you

but what if you are in the middle of a dream

things are not always what they seem

I see the truth in your eyes

I let out a sultry sigh

When were apart i miss you dearly

When I'm alone I don't think clearly

I love you even when you're not cheery

I kiss your lips gaze into your eyes

Then you let out a sultry sigh

I love to spend my time with you

There is nothing that I'd rather do

I miss you so when you are away

Thinking of you gets me through the day

You are my friend and confidant

Without you happy I am not!!

Do you hear the raindrops??

Dancing on the pane,

Do you hear the small voice??

It's calling out your name

There are eyes in every direction

Seeing and sensing everything you do

I would runaway

but runaway from who??

You will hear me mention Mikey alot because he is an important part of my life.. My rock, my friend, my lover, my companion that's a pretty tall order.. So see he means alot to me.. at his job they have laid almost everybody off and all it did was increase the workload of those still there.. Mikey is one of the few that they kept.. but he is 50 and the job is to load and unload lumber and doors and cabinets and other interior fixtures.. So it's a heavy job and the partner that he has seems to think that he is god's gift and is all knowing and tries to tell Mikey the who what when and why of everything even about lifting and carrying and the guy is about 15 years younger than mikey so he should be listening to Mikey not the other way around.. But he is the driver so he thinks that he is superior...  I think Mikey would have less problems if he could lift and carry things his way instead of doing what the dictator wants... the other guys way of lifting is waist height and it puts a strain on the old back Mikey packs everything on his left shoulder, hell, he even pads his left shoulder so that he can handle the loads better some of these loads are in excess of 150 lbs a bundle... and the jerk won't listen to reason... boy would I love to give him a piece of my mind the thing is I don't have much mind left so I can't be giving it away now can I.. lol..  Half the time he comes home and passes out and that's just not normal for him but they have him working anywhere from 10 to 14 hour days, it is only 4 days a week, but it's taking it's toll.. I wouldn't tell him this but you can see it in his face and eyes he just doesn't look the same he looks beat all the time...I am quite frankly worried about him.. I wish he could get a cushy job somewhere where he wouldn't have to lift so much... But he hates technology.. and is totally computer illiterate.  Not like I am an expert, or anything cause I'm not, but he refuses to touch it.. I am not sure if he can even turn the thing on or not... I have tried to show a few things and it would be more beneficial to teach sign language to a dog.. I mean it it's bad, but that's okay at least I know he won't read my journal. Because there is no way he could navigate the internet, not in a million years.. so I can vent about him all I want..My fibro has been giving me hell the past few days I am in alot of pain and nothing seems to help.. The digging I have been doing is probably not helping any in fact I know it's bad for me, but I enjoy the work..

Geez he hasn't even started to get ready yet, I wonder why, but  I don't want to push so I will wait awhile before I ask again I just asked 1/2 an hour ago and got no answer just a hug... Oh well, I liked the hug..

I love him so much but he puts everything off and is a nasty procrastinator, I guess I just have to learn to deal with it...Some days are easier than others..good thing I am not the type who gives up easily or he would be SOL.. We have been together for over a year now and I wouldn't have it any other way, even on the bad days... The endless waiting on him to be ready to do something and you can't rush him along it just makes him angry..so I try not to push and since I have stopped pushing it has gotten a little better with the exception of today that is... He is still laying down and hasn't moved a muscle I cooked him breakfast so I guess he did move a muscle.. I have to learn to gently push, find a happy comprimise..is there one?? I often wonder, because I don't want to be pushy or cruel but I hate waiting if you tell me we are going to do something don't make me wait for hours before we do it.. You know what I mean.. well, I gues I have cried enough for one journal entry thanks for the ears, I needed to get this out..

ME