Journal

Hey all havn't written in awhile have been busy with work and by the time I come home and cook just to tired. This has been a really good week though I really like the residents I have had this week and hope to maybe get them permantly have wait and see since I am still real new, but one of them actually is going to request I be her regular aide when ever I am working how cool was that? I felt really good about that especially since she is real picky about who takes care of her.

Well I started going to a 6 week support group more for my friend then me I really enjoy this site and when I need it I come here but, this was week 5 and we all 6 of us in the group all wrote a poem about our love ones and they had a music therapist come in and play guiater and sing them it was awesome I thought my poem was kinda dumb till she put it to music what a deference!!! Like I said it's not great but I am going to share it here with you all here goes:

One day God come along be patient he said a love thats strong will come along.

I was patient and along come Bobby a love that was strong.

Before long God come along he said be strong because the love for Bobby will be long even though I need him to come along now.

My Love for Bobby is still strong even though he went along with God.

I know it sounds kinda dumb but I just wrote what was in my heart.

I Love You Bobby Be At The Gate When I Get There!!

Love You Baby Doll Mar

Hey Ya'll well I made it through my 1st week at the nursing home I really think that Bobby knew there were people out there that needed someone to touch thier lives and that's why he wanted me to go back to school for some kind of degree in the medical field. I don't think that highly of myself but, I do feel my purpose is to help some of these residents that have noone and are so very very lonely to have some comfort. Please Please NEVER EVER put me in a nursing home!!!! I know that old or sick people can and are a huge pain in the ass but, they are people with feeling also most not all CNA's are over worked over stressed and have just lost the compassion they need to do the job right. I take the time to listen to the residents to be a little gentlier with them maybe because I am still new but God please if I ever get to the point must of the CNA's are at let me quit this field and do something else treat them like you would want your own parents treated. Working is helping by the time I get home make supper I am just to tired to do much thinking so I don't get myself as worked up as before it has been a little over 8 months now and I still miss the very soul and love of my life something awful but I have less time or energy to dwell on that now. I have been attending a grief support meeting we meet for 6 weeks and I started going to help my neighbor deal with her Dad's death but it is ok I have meet some nice people or understand and a couple of whacks but it's interesting to see how we all deal with this! TomorrowI will go and visit my old home health people as I have not seen them in a couple of weeks now and just want to say Hi and see how they are doing especially Roger and his Mom I really worry about them alot. Well thats it for now.

I Love You Bobby Be At The Gate When I Get There!!

Love You Baby Mar

Hey Baby I miss you so much I wish you were here to see me start my new job. Its' just not the same without you everything that I have done for the last 21 years or so has been with you by my side there to support me and give me  encourgement and now you aren't here it's scarey without you it hurts without you am I doing the right thing? I need to know your thoughts and ideas about things I don't like being here on my own to do stuff!!! Please know you are in my thoughts and dreams and in my heart every minute of every day, I do nothing without thinking what would Bobby say or do first this will never change!!! Life without you in it is way too hard so for now my thoughts and dreams of you will have to do, I Love You Baby!!!!

I Love You Bobby Be At that Gate When I Get There!!

Love You Babe Mar