Journal

it's been quite awhile since I've found time to sit down and blog and today seemed like a good time to do it.  At my last entry I ended my rant with this paragraph:

So here's to the most hectic, wonderful, crazy, exciting, scary, hopeful, thrilling, terrifying, blessed, blissful, exhausting, and fantastic time in our lives.  It really is true what they say... "God is good....ALL the time....it's just a matter of faith and trust!" -- AMEN!"

 Boy - HOWDY - did I not know how true that statement was.

For starters - this move has not been the hurried bliss I was anticipating.  I mean sure, I knew it was happening quickly, but I had no idea just HOW stressful it would be.  I mean, I had literally 6 days to get my little family ready to live out of a hotel for what we thought would be around 2 or 3 weeks.  That alone, with a then 9 week old baby, was a bit of a task but I figured, "I can hack it....no problem".  The reality of that was a bit more than I was prepared for.  We had to finalize getting our old house leased, coordinate movers/packers/loaders/get ourselves packed into as few suitcases as possible, get our dog checked/certified to fly, get flights and hotels finalized, get baby vaccinations and scrips filled and copies of medical records, etc before leaving.  Not to mention that Kevin had to start his new job three days before we left (the days the movers would be there) and, by the way, ALL our friends were scrambling to see us and all our families were scrambing to talk to us on the phone for details.  Throw in a little medical panic with Kevin's mother and I was pretty much stressed to my max by the time the day arrived for the packers to pack my house.  THANK GOD for Susie and Jenny who not only helped me watch Jackson on Packing Day...but gave me a place to escape to on Loading day when I was just about in tears from the utter chaos of it all.  I'll grant you that having a company professionally pack and move you across country is the only way to go...I would highly recommend you NOT BE THERE when it happens.  The noise was unbearable, couldn't get the baby to nap and literally didn' thave a chair to sit on...it was nuts.  As much as I thought I was at my wits end, we had some nice bright moments when visitors came to see us which was very sweet.  By the time we got on the plane that Saturday we were utterly exhausted but at least it was all done.  Our only major regret from it all was that there were SO MANY people we didn't get to see that we so wanted to.  The timing of all this fell together so fast and it was great in a way, but we would have liked a little more time with our friends who had become like family to us is many ways.  So to any of you reading this who we missed out in seeing - we are VERY sorry.  It certainly wasn't intentional on our part...just the way things fell together. 

Once we finally arrived in Chattanooga the first order of business was to, yet again, find a house.  After our initial trip out we had found a house but it failed inspection and we had to start from scratch.  Only now we were told we were on a clock as it could take as much as 3 weeks to close and we only 30 days of paid corporate housing to use.  Doing the math, that gave us 1 week by my calculations to find a house.  Not just a house....THE house.  The house we would live in harmony and raise our little family in that would be convenient for kevin's daily commute to work and close to church and near good schools and in a good area with nearby conveniences, have Kevin's perfect office space, my perfect entertaining and master suites, and oh by the way lets throw in wood floors, granite counter tops, perfect neighbors and a song from angels on high when we walk in the door!  NO PRESSURE! As Kevin had started his new job that left me, in the hotel, with the dog and the baby, coordinating daily searches with our realtor.  Now our realtor was and is an ever-patient saint of a woman!  She not only juggled mine and Kevin's conflicting likes and dislikes, but catered to the baby and me with all we needed.  We would go out each day and hunt as much as the baby could take which would account for about 7 to 9 houses.  Each day it was a routine of bottle ever third house, diaper changes in the back seat, and trading off who held the baby while I looked around houses and made notes of what I liked and didn't like.  Each day we would further "refine" what we were looking for but by the end of the first week I was MEGA stressed out!  I felt the looming deadline hanging over my head, and had a baby that - by that time - was beyond cranky from all the change.  I would hunt in the day with the realtor and see any repeats with Kevin in the evenings/weekends and no matter what I liked, he would hate and no matter what he liked, I would hate.  I was beginning to think we'd NEVER find a house we both loved and it would be a matter of us either renting indefinitely or one of us just NOT being happy wtih the house we choose....the pressure was suffocating.  Kevin then swooped in and removed any pressure from me by telling me that we could just rent a furnished apartment for as many months as we needed and that we could limit the house hunting to just a few days a week to give me and Jackson a break.  That helped.  We did find a house that we both loved and agreed on and put an offer on it that was accepted.  WHEW!  Next was inspection and landscaping issues with the house but at least I could take a break from hunting....

And you heard me mention my darling angelic baby boy right.  He was great to a point...and I mean, he's a GREAT baby but in the past three weeks we had flown him across country three times, and completely upset his world, his nap schedule and more.  By the end of each day of house hunting, he would just have a complete meltdown in the car and me and the realtor would just have to listen to him cry for 10 minutes till we got back to the hotel.  The realtor would then be relieved to leave and I would have to find a way to CONSOLE the poor overly exhausted baby while I was frazzled myself (see aforementioned home pressure).  Thank GOD he has been healthy and happy otherwise and not gotten sick from all the travel, but with his daily nap schedule tossed out the window somewhere at 30,000 feet, he no longer was sleeping good at nights and I was back to getting up 2 or 3 times a night with him.  Which, lets face it, WHO NEEDS SLEEP ANYWAY! hahahah  I've also just this week, finally given up on trying to nurse him.  I was struggling to keep my supply strong enough BEFORE all this craziness set in and with all the travel and house hunting nursing became a major liability for me.  My supply struggle to keep up with what little I could give him and by the time I'd get around to sitting down long enough for him to nurse, he'd be too tired and it would be a fight to get him to stay latched.  I gave it my college try....and we hung for a good 3 months....but I'm so relieved to be done!

Keep in mind, during all this time, we have to LIVE in a hotel.  That may sound glamorous at first but in reality it kinda sucks.  The dog must be let "out" to the teeny patch of grass at the far end of the hotel twice a day and hope the grass was dry enought that she wouldn't be covered in mud.  The laundry must be cleaned still and there is an onsite laundry room for hotel guests to use.  Woo hoo.  How hard can that be!?"  Yeah...RIGHT!  It's on a different floor and takes 1/2 an hour to wash and 1/2 an hour to dry.  So that means I have to bundle up the dirty cloths, the detergent and fabric softner, the quarters for the machines, and JACKSON just to go one floor down and find a place to set Jackson while I get the laundry going.  And yes...out of the two washers they had, one was broke...cause that's just my luck.  Then bundle up baby and detergents again and come back up to our room and chill for 1/2 an hour (just enough time for baby to doze off) then repeat to switch stuff over to dryer.  Dryer is smaller than washer - good to know - and the cloths don't actualy GET dry.  Then pack it back up to room to wait another 45 minutes (another cat nap for baby) only to come down one final time and pack it ALL back up to the room to fold/hang/put away.  And since there is only ONE "laundry room" for the entire hotel, and half of the washers/dryers in it don't work, about every other time I would go through all this, they'd be taken and I'd have to start over and wait.  EXCELLENT!!!! 

And with all this, I've been cancelling our Idaho utilities (didn't have time to do that before we left...whoops) setting up new Tennessee bank accounts, finding pediatricians and chiropracters and pharmacists.  We still have just our one car so on the days I need the car I have to shuttle Kevin to and from work amidst my errands but all in all it's been bearable.  This week - BLISSFULLY - has been the first full week of NO house hunting.  The house we choose passed inspection, offer was accepted and signed off on, and now our mortgage lady is racing to get us closed by the 5th.  This week I've focused on getting my poor but so flexible baby back on a nap schedule which has made my world a better place.  He's sleeping btter at night, which means MOMMY is sleepign better at night and DADDY doesn't get his head bit off quite so much.

Living in a hotel sucks - I don't mind saying.  It's not glamorous or fun or carefree...just a pain in the butt.  But we'll survive.  Eating out every day sucks - I don't mind saying.  It's not fun and easy....just a pain to the waistline and a hassle.  I'm jealous some days that my darling hard working hubby gets to "escape" to a job he loves each day and not be in the hotel listening to our dog bark as housekeeping comes in to clean JUST as you put the baby down for a nap (never fails) or you have to juggle the baby, quarters, room key card, etc for laundry twice a week, etc.  But i know in the end....THIS IS TEMPORARY and what doesn't kill me will make me so much more funny at parties!  ;-)

My book deal has been stalled by all this madness.  I finally sent the contract in yesterday and they are ready to encourage me (or rather PUSH ME) to finish things.  I'm anxious to get into the house and get settled and get my life back into some sort of normalcy.  I am hoping that once we get settled into the new place, I can find the rhythm of my life again that will include taking care of the house, baby, hubby, myself, and have time for finishing my book and being involved in a church again etc.  I think I can do it...I mean after all this, what CAN'T I do.

oh - and here's a funny ending to this rant.  I've been strugging for two months now with horrible pain in my back and hips.  I thought it was post-pregnancy stuff but it's lingered long enough that I felt it was time to see a chiropractor about it.  As my husband would watch me LIMP down the street to dinner EACH night with him....and take 3 or more advil before bed EACH night....and see me exhausted from a non-sleeping Jackson...he looks at me with love in his eyes and says, "so when can we start trying for baby number 2".

Talk about a whirlwind couple of months.  This has definitely been the most hectic, wonderful, crazy, exciting, scary, hopeful, thrilling, terrifying, blessed, blissful, exhausting, and fantastic few months in my entire life!  I've never been able to say this before, but my little family is definitely, without a doubt, starting a whole new chapter to our lives and it's showing itself to be filled with WONDERFUL new changes!

First and foremost at the top of my list of wonderful changes has been the birth of my now 8 week old son, Jackson.  He's been the most blessed gift I could have ever wanted and such a great great baby.  We are so enamoured with everything he does and all the little changes he's brought to our lives are just fabulous.  Are we tired, sure, but it's been so worth it and we could not have ever imagined that his arrival would be SO JOYFUL and SO LOVING.  We are blessed as parents and I still have moments of "I can't believe he's ours" that hit from time to time.  That alone would be enough to praise God every day forever...alas, more change has  come.

The next major change has been in the form of employment for my hubby.  In an economy that is all about eco-depression, job loss, etc, he has been offered a fantastic employment opportunity with a company that is showing growth and stability.  The office is filled with open and active Christians and several of the other men there have recently had new babies as well.  Kevin will be in a good working environment with other men in his age/stage of life!  What a great gift for him.  He likes the people and company, the benefits are going to be better for us and they have been SO supportive and encouraging to our little family.

If that weren't enough, we are now moving cross-country.  Kevin's job is based in Chattanooga Tennessee and part of his employment offer included a relo-pkg.  As big of a deal that this is, it's even more positive for us as my family is all located in the South and it'll put me closer to my father than I've EVER lived in my life! Not to mention just a teeny short flight from Dallas for the rest of my family.  This is a major plus for me and Jackson to be sure and the Chattanooga area is simply BEAUTIFUL and I'm so excited to live back in the South again.  Just the short time we've been here now (since last Wednesday) everyone has been so super polite and helpful.  I didn't realize just how MUCH I missed that.  Idaho has nice people in it, but just not THAT kind of nice...ya know???  Our realtor has been so supportive and understanding of our circumstances and was so patient and accessible with me house-hunting with Jackson.  Right down to diaper changes in the back of her SUV and bottle feeding while walking through houses!  We found a house in just 2 days and on the 3rd day made an offer which was accepted on the 4th day.  CRAZY FAST!  The house is perfect for us and has room for visitors and our family to grow!

And - if all of that wasn't enough - I now have a book deal.  I read over my contract during our flight here and typed over a long list of questions to my rep at the publisher Friday night.  As of 7am this morning, they had already emailed me back and answered my questions to my full satisfaction.  I couldn't be more at peace about their services.  I'll be signing the contract this afternoon and starting the process to FINISH my book and get it published.  I'll officially be a published author.  WAIT A SEC....let's see that again in slo-mo.....

I'll   Officially   Be   A   Published  AUTHOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that freaking anyone else out like it is me!  I had an urge to help other Christian Couples going through Infertility and now BAM - it's coming to fruition.  I never expected this to happen so quickly much less so thoroughly!

God has simply overwhelmed us with blessings in the past few months and this list doesn't even count all the other minor miracles that have fallen into place that we didn't even expect or ask for!  My family life is going to forever change and the shape of the finished product is still unknown to us.  Lots of work to be done, to be sure, but we feel confident that God wouldn't have all this happen in this order and at this time if it wasn't going to be HIM pulling us through it and getting it all done.  I can't WAIT to see what the next few months will be like....and i can't WAIT to see the well-spring of energy God will give me to get it all done.  hahahah 

So here's to the most hectic, wonderful, crazy, exciting, scary, hopeful, thrilling, terrifying, blessed, blissful, exhausting, and fantastic time in our lives.  It really is true what they say... "God is good....ALL the time....it's just a matter of faith and trust!" -- AMEN!

I really truly don't have time this morning to blog....but I NEED TO in order to put my thoughts in order and get out of my own head a little.  It's been a long time since I blogged since Baby Jackson makes finding the time difficult.  Honestly though, I'd gladly give up just about anything to spend time with my tiny little dictator so how can I complain!  :-)  The past month has been busy with the usual baby stuff and life but the past two weeks really exploded.  Here is the breakdown of how it all fell together:

* three weeks ago, hubby went to Tennessee on business and baby and I were alone for the first time for four days.  We did GREAT!

* While there, hubby was offered a permanent full time job - we expected this but didn't expect that they would pay for a full relo package.

* We took some time to consider our options, counter the offer, dot the I's cross the T's etc. but finally accepted the offer this past Tuesday.

* on Friday morning, we found out that his company was discontinuing all contract positions.  As such, had we not accepted the offer, we would be staring down the barrel of NOT having any work!  GOD HAS GREAT PLANS AND TIMING EH!!!

* on Friday afternoon (yes, same day), I rec'd a UPS package from the publisher on my book deal that was completely unexpected!

* Also on Friday afternon (yep, still same day) we found out that hubby's contract start date was set for October 1st!

* On late Sunday night we had someone email us out of the blue that wants to lease our current home from us.

THE BLESSINGS FROM GOD ARE TOTALLY OVERWHELMING ME AT THIS POINT!  Things are going so great and so fast and so smoothly and oddly  - JUST AS I PRAYED FOR!  I've been praying for weeks over the job possibility for hubby and my specific prayer was:

  "God, if this move is what you want, make it happen seamlessly and quickly and make all the pieces fall into place for us so that we can have good peace about the choice for our family"

and apparently God said - OKIE DOKIE!  This has happened so fast and so far every facet has just fallen into place in a way that we could have NEVER imagined or accomplished on our own and the book deal was just icing on the cake. - honestly, I could have lived my life long and happy to just have Jackson and been grateful to God every day for it...this is all just....

WOW!

I now have today and tomorrow to get my family ready to travel (laundry/packing/etc) AND get us pre-qual'd for financing in TN and coordinate house hunting with the realtor and and an dan dnd - and somewhere in there find time to read my book contract.

oh yeah - and see ALL OUR IDAHO FRIENDS AS MUCH AS WE CAN BEFORE WE MOVE!  Things are nuts and getting nuttier around here but SURELY God has a plan for all this as well and will put me through it!

God really is good....ALL THE TIME.....EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU DON'T NEED HIM!