christinef's Journal

What was everyone's high school experience like?

I am okay with mine, but there are things i wish i didnt do, i have a lot of regrets. i'm now surfing myspace and facebook and i see all the things people are doing and with eachtoher. back in high school i didn't have a bad reputation (or maybe i did and i didnt know it) but i just pushed people away, like i purposely excluded myself...even though i didn't mean to....who wants to be lonely ? no one does. this is the first timei've really admitted that i did this. i probably would have had more friends....i thought people were judging me but really i was the one judging them....i don't think i was imagining all of the problems though. a lot of people were fake and i didn't really want to be apart of that, i think i was some what snobby in a way or maybe some people thought of it like that.... i wish i wasn't so angry and pessimistic and i just enjoyed my time. i do have good memories but there are somethings i really shouldn't have done, i have learned from them though. and i am thankful for the friends I DO have and i really need to take better care of those relationships because what person wants to be lonely?  the golden rule is so important....treating others how i would like to be treated....and i am trying harder than ever to remember that....another reason i think i pushed people away was the fact that i have such trust issues...thinking that people are being fake....well some were, but it seems like they are being fake to eachother in order to have fun. i dont know what these people are like now, but most of the time people dont change. i guess i am just sad that i am not having all the fun they seem to be having, or i dont have an actual "group" of friends./ it seems like all they do in those groups is talk about eachother or they are always mad at one person and singling the other person out...but every group i have been in it seems to go this way, if one person is missing they happen to be the subject of conversation i wish it wasn't like this but i guess that's how humans are.