SMS81's Journal

I was waiting to get on here, feel like I have a lot to say. I was thinking about why I want to lose weight but seriously find that unrealistic right now. I kind of want to go back on an anti anxiety because I know I will lose weight on it. My therepy just sin;t helping enough. Or maybe I am not telling her the whole truth. I think I try to but the focus usually gets put on the kids. The problem here is that I am way out of balance. I know I have to change things one at a time, but what do I focus on first?

So my title "picking" that is what I really want to do right now. I guess thats my little anxiety secret. There is just nothing to pick at on me.....I want to pick on someones ears, blackheads, hairs....whatever. If I had a strawberry I would pick off all the seeds. I guess I am a little tense today. A freinds boat came back, and I still have 3 more months to go. I am happy for her, but I am sad for me. So far this deployment has really done a number on me. I have probably gained 15 pounds in 3 months. That is probably very accurate. My skin is the only thing that is starting improve.  Butthat alone took months to fix. And its still not perfect.

I need to take care of myself. I am walking today during pre-school and I am hoping that it helps. It is hot though. Its not going to be fun. Plus I won't have a walking prtner either....I am seriously considering finding something else to do. My motivation sucks. UGH, its hot....I am groggy and my body is achy I would probably benefit from a pedicure. HMMM...now if I only had the money for that.

Things will get better when school starts. I will have more time to myself and that is what I need.