I LOVE YOU ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS...
June 8, 2008 12:07am
Good Evening My Dearest Friends. I am sending endless Hugs and Kisses To You All. I am sorry I haven't been more …
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anunspokendarkness 
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About Me
anunspokendarkness
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About Me
I am a 40year-old Mother of a 18 Year-old Son. He is my life. I love animals especially Siamese Cats. I love music.I Loathe politics/politicians. I am engaged and have been with my Fiance for 13 years. I have two Step-Daughters who live with my Fiance and me. My life is an endless hell.I pray every night before going to sleep for my Son to be healthy , happy and safe and for myself to never wake up. While it has been a while since my last suicide attempt(in 1995) the thoughts still haunt me daily.
I am a 40year-old Mother of a 18 Year-old Son. He is my life. I love animals especially Siamese Cats. I love music.I Loathe politics/politicians. I am engaged and have been with my Fiance for 13 years. I have two Step-Daughters who live with my Fiance and me. My life is an endless hell.I pray every night before going to sleep for my Son to be healthy , happy and safe and for myself to never wake up. While it has been a while since my last suicide attempt(in 1995) the thoughts still haunt me daily.
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Interests
Talking to my Best Girlfriend CINDY. Hanging out on VAMPIRE FREAKS and MYSPACE. I would like to find new and creative ways to dodge my bill collectors until I can win the lottery. Music: Metal, Metal and More Metal...The Louder and Harder The Better (In the MOSH PIT) , Gothic, Some Alternative, The Blues. The Darker side of things (except satan)Gothic Lifestyle The color BLACK Animals and Animal Rights especially but not limited to Siamese cats. Veganism/Vegitarianism. Writing Dark, Depressive, Erotic Poetry, Being Creative and Humorous Vampires, Black Widow Spiders I Love Stevie Nicks. SULLY ERNA and DANI FILTH excite me VERY MUCH! Saving the Best for last... The MOST IMPORTANT Interest that I have is Hanging out with My Son, EDDIE. He is AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL and I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART ALWAYS AND FOREVER!
Talking to my Best Girlfriend CINDY. Hanging out on VAMPIRE FREAKS and MYSPACE. I would like to find
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Journal
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I LOVE YOU ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS...
June 8, 2008 12:05am
Good Evening My Dearest Friends. I am sending endless Hugs and Kisses To You All. I am sorry I haven't been more …
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Hugbook
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Sending hugs your way to let you know I care.
Flower
Oh no Brenda ... am so sorry to hear that you have to go through all this. When are you scheduled ?? Some flowers to help cheer you !! Am always here for ya !!! Big Hugz !!!
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Come and have a look at Our Support Group http://dailystrength.org/groups/su...
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Whats the matter ??? I am pretty sick now too ... bad cold !!!
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Howdy stranger .... how are you ?>??
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionDiagnosed in 1994.
Treatments
- Celexa Too Soon to Tell
- Paxil Not Working
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Prozac Not Working
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Trazodone Not Working
- Writing Working / Worked
- Zoloft Working / Worked
Close Alopecia Areata
I was diagnosed recently at age 39 with alopecia areata. I am rapidly losing my hair from an auto immune disorder.
Treatments
- Rogaine Not Working
- No affect at all.
Open Diets & Weight Maintenance
I quickly gained 60 lbs over a 6 month period while laying in a hospital bed being pumped 3x the recommended calories through a pick line to my heart to help me heal from colon surgery. Can't seem to lose it and my self-esteem is shot.I am thinking about getting weight loss surgery.I get treated badly now because of my excess weight and I HATE IT!
Treatments
- Counting Calories Working / Worked
- Excellent place to start but must be combined with exercise and eating the right kind/mixture of foods.
- Eating Healthier Foods Somewhat Helpful
- Of course eating healthier has many benefits but exercise and watching calorie intake must also go along with the plan.
- Eat Less Working / Worked
- This works for some people but unfortunately it can be a bad thing if you eat less of the healthy foods and more of the wrong kind ofd foods.Excercise is a mustfor this plan.
- NutriSystem Considering
- I was referred to NutriSystem by an acquaintance who lost 70 lbs. on this program.I haven't tried it yet but am considering trying it.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Most effective way yet. Always worked for me in the past. Not sure about now though.
- Slim-Fast Not Working
- Had no affect at all excepet to make me more hungry.
- South Beach Diet Somewhat Helpful
- Helped me out some.
- Weight Watchers Working / Worked
- worked some for me.
Open Urinary Incontinence
I have had bladder problems since age 14. My bladder dropped after giving birth to my Son. I had it tacked up and it fell a couple of months later from a car wreck. I am incontinent when I cough, Sneeze, bend over to quickly etc and sometimes without reason. I get frequent severe UTIs. This got worse after my Hysterectomy.
Treatments
- Ditropan Working / Worked
- Worked Great except it caused me severe bladder spasms.
- Kegel Exercise Somewhat Helpful
- Still working on this method as a treatment. Slow progress.
Open Hysterectomy
At age 30 I had a Hysterectomy but kept my right ovary. I had Severe Endometriosis and many other serious health problems which is why I decided to have this surgery. More cons than pros for me.
Treatments
- Premarin Not Working
- This treatment NEVER worked for me when taken before my hysterectomy but I haven't tried it since.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseMonday Evening My Son's Father past away suddenly while at a Friend's house. My Son texted me at 9:10 P.M. "my dad died tonight :( im at the hospital. My Son is taking it horribly! (He lived with his Dad for many years) He passed out several times at the hospital. We haven't been a couple since 1994 but we have an Amazingly wonderful 17 Year-Old Son together. He was an Amazing Man... Gorgeous, Very Caring, Smart, Creative, A Great Dad to our Son and a Great sense of humor.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- Don't know if it works but I've done plenty of it!
- Grief Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- Haven't started yet but it has worked in the past.
- Keeping Busy Working / Worked
- This is the one that works best for me personally.
- Music Not Working
- Not Helpful at all. Radio played all sad songs:(
- Pets Working / Worked
- My Cat is My Therapist!
- Prayer Working / Worked
- Always works for me.
- Remembering Somewhat Helpful
- Makes me cry more but sometimes can make me laugh about silly things we used to do
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Helps
- Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
- Haven't gone yet.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Helps , Nice to have someone to talk to who will listen
- Time Working / Worked
- Time heals all wounds.
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Diagnosed with BPD
Treatments
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Most used method by me
