TomSinTn's Journal

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                                ~The Real Face of Sexism~
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                 *an autobiography of a sexually molested male*
                         By Tom S. in Tn. a true masculinist

 ~ Who ever said it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all; was never sexually molested; Tom Terrific ~

I was born early 1956 summer to a hysterical sexually molested post war mother who took her sexual anxieties and male hostilities out on me, her only son, with digital rectal exams and oral genital play, anytime another man was not available for her to act out her frustrations with. But the memories fade because she was gone by the time I was 12.
Neurotic in my teens and living with my grandparents unable to function in school where girls were present, I was sent by an illegitimate social worker father to a hippie county mental health social worker. After attempting a suicide escape instead of her weekly seductive therapy sessions using 'The Joy Of Sex' as an illustrated text behind the closed door of the office, I was finally taken without prior knowledge, out on a Friday evening male bonding night with ole' dad while his new wife was out and did not know what he was up to.
I was then ultimately  declared cured and a remarkable success once I had finally provided the visible seminal proof for him and girls crowding in a room smaller than most closets while a crying 17 y/o who had to be manually encouraged nearly a dozen times, stood completely nude and successfully had sex with a paid surrogate laying on a massage exam table.
I even took the a girl I married 2 1/2 mo. later to the county hippie the-rapist, ole dad called her, as proof I could be the person they wanted. Ole dad was never prouder when he spied on us screwing in the back yard. But we were happy. That is until first wife's violence became so bad after 5 years of marriage I had to take my 2 children away. She loved to be violent with sex and used things like a meat fork from the kitchen once to stab my genitals with. But women can be easily victimized, especially if they are deputy sheriff's and that's why they issue them a god damn service revolver. But I stayed and maintained an intact home nearly 2 full years after her female attorney had the female chancery judge declare the divorce final.
Sadly, just as I feared, an endless stream of drunken men took my place and my daughter was raped at 13. My son was molested by people he was left in care of and other things I will probably never know that has left him so scarred, he can only stay focused on a project for about 30 min before anger and anxiety take over.
But, while my children were tortured, I was blessed. I was saved from singleness after spending a whole summer scared I would never find a safe wife. An arranged blind date by people who knew us was a success story for 2 maladjusted social misfits they felt sorry for. An awkward bumbling first date that lasted about 1 1/2 hour where we tiptoed through the topic of abusive relations resulted in a second date, where to assure we were in a  permanent relationship, she pulled my pants open and began having sex with me. That was 27 years ago and I would not have changed a thing because she has proven for thousands of times what safety and security actually feel like. Even without ever having recognition from anyone after loosing a daughter prematurely to birth, she has always been security for me.
Doing my best to adjust to females in every day society by attending nursing school and working for 10 years as a RN only added to the futility I was faced with and finally culminated when I was admitted to a hospital psychiatric ward directly from surgical recovery after a second spinal fusion was performed one year.
I will never forget my joy and elation when the social worker I was assigned to post discharge declared I actually had a history of sexual molestation, and declaring the horror house life was finally over, she sent me to a lesbian rape crisis center. Unable to endure further trauma, I finally went home, permanently.
It has been over 11 years since I decided to let my professional license become inactive and stay at home. I have come to realize the true dangers that actually exist in todays sex driven anti-male society and even though viewed fanatic, I have successfully gotten my 3'rd living child, a son, to adult hood. I have learned the joys of what my wife missed climbing the ladder of hospital laboratory success, while I stayed home doing the job of the parent with school lunches and class party's, summer days at the pool, and growing vegetables and making our meals. Teaching the kids important lessons in arc welding and how to repair the carburetor on the lawn mower, and actually let them raise chicks and gather eggs.
I realized home is where I should have been all along.

Listen up guys and gals; you get what you deserve, and you deserve better. Act with decency and decorum, and demand no less from society and the men and girls you attract.