My name is Heather, I'm 30 years old. I have two sisters and a dad. My mother was killed in a car accident in 2005. My focus right now is to somehow learn to deal with the loss of my mother, lose weight, and be the person she knew I could be.
My name is Heather, I'm 30 years old. I have two sisters and a dad. My mother was killed in a car accident in 2005. My focus right now is to somehow learn to deal with the loss of my mother, lose weight, and be the person she knew I could be.
March 30, 2008 9:15pm
Well, my first journal. Where do I begin. I'm tired today. I feel like it's been months since I have slept. Tonight I …
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My mother was killed in a car accident in February of 2005, exactly 1 week after her 54th birthday. We were soul mates my mother and I. She was my very best person. The only person who knew everything about me, and understood. The one person who loved me unconditionally. My heart was taken the day she died, and I don't know if I will ever find it again.
I've been overweight most of my life. I was a closet eater as a kid, eating anytime I was emotional. Then I found I had Polycystic ovarian syndrom, and it's getting harder and harder. I want to be healthy, I want to have children, I want to make my mother proud. I'm currently over 130 pounds overweight according to dr standards, although I would be happy losing 110 pounds.
My older sister is bipolar. It has gotten pretty bad in the last few years, even more so since our mom was killed. I have studied psychology, and I am pretty knowledgable about this disorder, but it obviously doesn't make it any easier. My heart hurts for her, and I just wish I could make it better.
My sister stacy is a lesbian. She came out when she was about 23 maybe? Anway, I think we all knew for a quite awhile. The ignorance of the world makes me so angry. Seeing parents disown their children because of something they cannot control, I guess I'll never understand. The only thing I understand for sure is that I love my sister. Isn't it more important to have found love regardless of the sex of the other person? I just don't get it.
About 5 years ago I found out that my ex who I was with for almost 7 years had given me genital herpes. I haven't dated anyone since then, I can't even begin to imagine how to tell someone.
I seem to have learned to control my panic attacks a little bit. I mostly get them at night when I am in bed and I start thinking. It gets rough sometimes
I have been a compulsive over-eater for as long as I can remember. I used to sneak food and hide it in my room when I was little. I know this is a never-ending battle. But food has been my "drug of choice" forever. I think Compulsive Overeating is severely untreated also.
I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and was told yesterday I have endometrial hyperplasia, which seems pretty common. But I have concerns.
I have been most attracted to African American and Hispanic men for as long as I can remember. Probably what annoys me a lot is that people just assume that because I have dated a black man that I don't date white men. Everyone is attracted to different things. I just don't understand why people are so judgemental and ignorant.
