It's Me
May 29, 2009 8:42pm
Hello to all my friends! I've been away for a bit. I've thought of you all often and hope you all are well. Just a bit of an update-my …
Progress
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AliciaH
4:11pm, July 1, 2009
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About Me
AliciaH
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About Me
I am single. I've been a nurse for 10 years. I grew up on the beach in Pensacola, Florida.I call the beach, MY SAFE PLACE. There's nothing like a clear, blue sky, warm sunshine, and my feet in the pure white sand, and sitting back and watching the waves roll in. Its so peaceful to me. I have been suffering from anorexia/bulemia with depression most of my life. I have also been physically and emotionally abused most of my life. I am writing a book about my experiences, in hopes it will help others who have been in my position.Last year my eating disorder was so out of control, I ended up in a 21/2 month coma and on a ventilator. I was not expected to live, but, here I am.-I have 5 kids, ages 26, 21, 18, 16, and 11.They are wonderful children.-I try to live my life by what I call the 3 L's-LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH, and no matter how bad I feel on the inside, I always have a smile on my face.
I am single. I've been a nurse for 10 years. I grew up on the beach in Pensacola, Florida.I call the beach, MY SAFE PLACE. There's nothing like a clear, blue sky, warm sunshine, and my feet in the pure white sand, and sitting back and watching the waves roll in. Its so peaceful to me. I have been suffering from anorexia/bulemia with depression most of my life. I have also been physically and emotionally abused most of my life. I am writing a book about my experiences, in hopes it will help others
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Interests
Nascar racing, drag racing, bowling reading, writing, and my most favorite is to go to the beach!!!
Nascar racing, drag racing, bowling reading, writing, and my most favorite is to go to the beach!!!
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Journal
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This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Little Love
Sending a little love your way! Love, Peace, Hugs and Kisses!!!!!!!
Hug
From ChiTownBear
May 29
Good to hear from you. I am glad you are working the therapy and standing strong. Time with your grand-baby is always a joy; but the 13 year old? Joy? :) I can't wait to read the first cut, whatever you send my way. Enjoy your night.
Rainbow
May many blessings come your way And may joy fill your heart today...Wishing you a bright And beautiful day! Love, Maria
Rainbow
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Flower
just out delivering flowers and of course that made me think of you! :) Love, Peace and Hugs!
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Eating Disorders
Type: AnorexiaI have been anorexic since I was 9y.o.'I was in a coma in Aug./Sept.07..on a ventilator.The doctors told my family I would not live,but, I did! My mom thinks I'm stupid & doesn't understand anorexia. She is the #1 reason I became anorexic. I feel like an embarrassment to my family.
Treatments
- Dietitian Consult Not Working
- I cannot eat all the food they say I need. I tried'it is just not that easy..
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- I participated in group therapy when I was in Birmingham,it is great to talk with others who are/have been going through what you are and understand your feelings.
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- was somewhat helpful at first.
- Outpatient Treatment Program Somewhat Helpful
- I spent 2mths. at an outpatient program in Birmingham at an Eating Disorder Clinic. It was helpful, but, it was a new clinic and I was one of the first ones in their first group, and I really think I need to go back and try again. They have alot more to offer now, and have learned alot more their as to help eating disorders.
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- I don't feel like my therapy is working too well.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- My family thinks I am stupid and my eating disorder is stupid. They make me feel embarrassed, lowdown, hopeless and I have no self esteem.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- the 0.5mg. helps keep me calm and mellowed out. If I feel a panic attack coming on, I can take one and it calms me down.
- Zoloft Not Working
- I don't think the med. is working anymore. The dose may need to be increased.
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
I am 45, and my mom beat me as a child. My 2 marriages were physically/emotionally abusive. My self esteem was beaten out of me'I kept it a secret because it was embarrassing and humiliating.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- i went throught 2yrs. of counseling for physical abuse, thinking it was something i did wrong. I always wonder, what is wrong with me?
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- I was able to express my pain through my art work.
- Divorce Somewhat Helpful
- My exhusband is in prison and he still writes to me. Our divorce was bad, he did alot of threatning, but then ended up in prison.
- Forgiveness Considering
- I am trying to forgive, but, it is hard. He keeps asking me in his letters to forgive him and come see him in prison, but, I can't right now.
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- I was able to take my children and sneak out one night. He kept begging me to forgive him and come back, but, I knew it would be worse and I was afraid he would kill me. The side effects are nightmares, which in time will get better I hope.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I had a wonderful counselor at an abuse center, she helped me with a get away plan, she let me cry, she made me understand that what happened was his fault, I DID NOTHING WRONG.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking, crying and venting helped me.I had to get out all the hate and anger I felt towards him and my mom. I did not deserve to be beat, have him break my bones, and because of the embarrassment I would make up a story to tell the doctor, It was humiliating.
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have been depressed most of my life.Being beat by my mom and 2 exhusbands,the death of my lifelong love friend.Battling anorexia,depression,stress and panic attacks.
Treatments
- Atenolol Working / Worked
- I was put on this medication because my heart rate is extremely high and it helps but it drops my blood pressure real low.
- Effexor Not Working
- didn't work for me
- Elavil Working / Worked
- I took elavil many years ago, but, it would make me eat and i was afraid i'd get fat so i quit taking it.
- Lexapro Not Working
- worked for a while but wasn't helping with my eating disorder.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- i'm really trying to think happy thoughts and look forward to things with my kids, and things i want to do in life-but at times it gets to be so overwhelming.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- not helping a whole lot. i'm gonna start with a new therapist next week.
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- worked great at night to help me sleep, but, was taken off of it when i went into a 2mth coma
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- No support from my family. It is embarrassing to them, and I am the family outcast.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- Works for me. It calms me down.
- Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
- Just started taking it. Dosage was increased to see if it will help.
Open Family Issues
I am the outcast of my family.My mom & I do not get along, never have. My brothers don't even have much to do with me,neither do my 2 oldest sons.
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
- trying to talk to my family only leads to arguing, and at times my mother hits me, and i'm tired of being hit on. i'm tired of being physically & emotionally abused.
- Writing Not Working
- I tried to keep a journal about everything'and still do,but, the issues are still there.
- Plendil Working / Worked
- the meds keep me calm
Open Breakups & Divorce
i am a failure at marriage and relationships.my 2exhusbands physically abused me and i have dated,but,it never works out.
Treatments
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- it is hard to forgive my exhusbands for the physical abuse.The pain at times unbearable and having to keep it a secret and lie about my injuries to the doctor. I was choked until I blacked out,and I knew then I had to get my kids and plan a way to get out.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I went through counseling here at a center for abused women for 2 yrs.*it was my therapist who helped me plan to get out and i do belive it i hadn't of gotten out i would be dead today.I continously kept blaming myself, thinking it was all my fault.It took a long time to realize it was not my fault,he was in the wrong and to this day i am scared of him.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- my family was supportive then,they helped me move out my things and they were always at court dates with me and they supported me and my kids financially for a while.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- It does help to talk about my feelings. I've been divorced for 10yrs. but, the pain and fear is still there.I have bad luck choosing men, and I just want to find a good man,who's fun,caring and won't hit on me.
Open Healthy Relationships
MY MARRIAGES FAILED AND SO HAVE MY RELATIONSHIPS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT'
Treatments
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- I DID KEEP A JOURNAL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS AND WELL I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY I CAN'T HAVE A NICE NORMAL HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
Open Homeschooling
I'M HOMESCHOOLING MY 11Y.O GIRL'SHE BECAME ILL IN DEC.07 AND WASN'T ABLE TO GO TO SCHOOL'IT IS NOT EASY
