Beware the Scum of the Earth
April 29, 2009 2:29pm
A year has past since my husband passed away. The dreadful fog that overtook my brain (worse during the first 6 months) has lifted. Not entirely, but …
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LostLadyLen
10:19am, April 13, 2009
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About Me
LostLadyLen
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About Me
The 1st Anniversary of my love's death has come & gone. Doesn't feel like it. I miss him with all my being. Yet, tho I don't expect him to return, I don't feel he is gone forever. * I continue in a life/death struggle for survival, wishing the weather would warm up. Fortunately, my thinking is clearer, my energy level is improved; I feel more like my old self. * Now that I am able to think rationally, I will never be trapped by religious voodoo hoodoo again - esp. the Christian kind. That is a big plus. My fury at the damn ppl who used their religion as a weapon to feed their egos at the my husband's expense - and mine - has also changed. It is now on an intellectual plane rather than an emotional one. I continue to be determined to sue these ppl for the damage that they did. * I will continue to respect the rights of others to make their own choices; BUT I will not allow anyone to usurp my right to make my choices, and I will defend the rights of all to make their owe choices, esp. against the onslaught of the religious ones.
The 1st Anniversary of my love's death has come & gone. Doesn't feel like it. I miss him with all my being. Yet, tho I don't expect him to return, I don't feel he is gone forever. * I continue in a life/death struggle for survival, wishing the weather would warm up. Fortunately, my thinking is clearer, my energy level is improved; I feel more like my old self. * Now that I am able to think rationally, I will never be trapped by religious voodoo hoodoo again - esp. the Christian kind. That is a big
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Interests
My main goal is to re-establish a "normal" lifestyle. This will take most of my time and energy for a long time to come, so I WILL NOT BE ON DS as often as I was in the past. I remain truly interested in the well-being of all the friends I've made here. I will do my best to stay in touch as often as possible. However, because I have ADD, I need to reduce the distractions in my life; so I will temporarily limit the number of groups I belong to until I have more time to be an active participant. I doubt I will be able to add any new friends for a while - but I never say never. Well, OK, I rarely say never :).
My main goal is to re-establish a "normal" lifestyle. This will take most of my time and energy for a
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Hugbook
Miss You
I miss your words of wisdom. Hope all is well!
Little Love
Sending you big furry hugs and lots of love.
Toddi :)
Hug
Sending you a BIG HUG today to let you know that I am thinking of you and would love to hear from you. xoxo pat
Hug
Oh, Dear...
I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts
with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint
and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod
Hug
gosh I miss you! Hope everything is okay! Big hugs from SC...Lesa and Hope
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseI am still haven't completely absorbed the fact that my husband is not coming back. back. I'll never feel his arms around me again. I can't tell him how very sorry I am that I didn't take better care of him. I am beginning to understand how it was that I let "those damned Xtians" walk all over us - to the detriment of his well-being - the one I treasured more than anyone else.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I rarely cry, but once in a while - out of the blues, the tears come.
- Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
- Had an "break-thru" and realized that, in spite of all the loving words, the ppl I am angry at never saw us as human beings. Suddenly I realized, it was "Nothing Personal" and the rage faded.
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- When I can, I am going to try this.
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Am making progress in tackling things with the future in mind, even though the only future I want is one with him in it. Yet, even when busy, the grief comes out of nowhere, now stronger than ever.
- Music Not Working
- Up beat music makes me feel guity. Sad music only makes me feel worse.
- Pets Considering
- Prayer Not Working
- My idea of a waste of time - but to each their own.
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Going for it as soon as I can.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Once in a while I splurge on a book - money is tight right now. But reading is a big help.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- Not much in the way of family - most don't know. My few friends expect me to be OK. I pretend that I am, for their sakes. It's easier all around. Would have been nice to have someone nearby who's shoulder I could literally cry on, but... have learned to accept it.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Getting imput from others on DS is a big help. Not comfortable talking about feelings with friends outside of DS. Maybe someday.
- Talking Working / Worked
- BIG, BIG help. Dealing with anger in a construtive way is helping me to focus.
- Time Not Working
- Ha. The only way this would help would be if I could turn back the clock!
Close Widows & Widowers
Husband passed away after being bedridden for several years... I miss my husband, I miss my purpose...
Open Celiac Disease
LostLadyLen hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Depression
LostLadyLen hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open ADHD / ADD
Was diagnosed in my early 50's Still struggle'n Med. no help
Treatments
- Strattera Not Working
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- Had thoughts of suicide while taking
Open DailyStrength Members Community
Fortunately, I found DS the day my husband died. By the time my husband passed away, my self-esteem had been pummeled by ppl I thought I could trust. Ppl who, based on the organization they belonged to, should have been trustworthy. With the death of my husband, I was left feeling completely hopeless and helpless. I doubt I would have survived without the caring support and good advice I was freely given by DS Members who had troubles of their own. I only wish I'd found DS sooner.
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Groups
Feeling Alone
Fellow Pagans
winnys coven
Friends til the end
Anger Ranting Venting
It Is Not About God
A Breath of Fresh Air
BOOST! self-esteem
Caring for carers
NEED A GOOD LAUGH
Humor Is Healing
B.I.T.C.H.E.S. UNITED
Finding Serenity Thru Self Mastery
Cherished Pets Haven
cage
Support and Hugs
University Depression Study Group
Adult ADHD
Club Funny Bone
A Leaders Forum
pet slaves anonymous
Atheist Safehouse
Daily SNIPS
FFS Friends Forever Syndrome
Religious Debate
explore your feelings group
Your Own Best Advocate
