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Sandrakg 
12:53pm, June 22, 2009
Since I dont drive its very hard for rides to drs but I tried and it didnt get me any better any way. dr tried several expencive perscriptions all made me worse or get new problems so Im off everything. now ill have withdrawl from anti depressants probly but Ive dealt before . I just want my legs and feet not to hurt and energy but forgot how it feels to wake rested with energy . I push myself to do work . I been doing my neighbors yard all week and cant go long because I cant take heat. Im clearing all her brush off her back fence and mow and trim her yard for money. I have a cell phone now but got used to not talking to anyone. My hubbys still a misserable unhappy person to be around but hes working in his pain and trying to keep our house.Hes still not being very responcible on bills worrys me because If hed let me take over manageing I believe I could do better. Im very unhappy because of him and dont think he realizes how sad he pulls me down and I try not to let him because I dont have to be unhappy just because he is. main reason IS I still believe in GOD AND PRAYER and he has nothing his choice.we are planning in several months to go to family reunion on my side which I hope is better than last if my family lets me stay longer this time. they really hurt me last years rushing out fast not even saying goodbyes to family i may never see again.Ive warned them this year I want to stay longer other than that Ive had no trips no fun not even shopping its part my own fault because I dont drive so everyones working no way to go somewhere. weekends are same ole thing hubby works saturdays sleeps sundays and works mondays again hubby buys take out I dont cook much and I just sleep or play on internet thats my life now I need interaction and a male partner. theres very little affection showed so i feel lonely I may still have to find a anti depressant that helps depression and pain have no idea what. Ive takin lexapro and cymbalta and lyrica and I may ask dr to put me back on prozac i took 10 years ago see if it helps .
