1/9/07, It is 2:23 a.m. meaning …
1/9/07, It is 2:23 a.m. meaning it is another sleepless night. I still have trouble believing that I developed …
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Vicsta 
6:18pm Sunday
You know what frustrates me the most is: the waiting! It's so boring, annoying and anxiety inducing. I think one reason I hate waiting for the referral is because I feel as if I cannot plan anything. Diagnosis of the pituitary problem requires lots of tests, which requires time and someone to drive me to the hospital. If it turns out that I do have this pituitary problem, I shall have to have a lot more tests before I can be treated, then the treatment and more tests and blaaaaaaaaaah.
So, seeing as I was planning on looking for a part time job in October 09 and starting to do my counselling course, which has obviously all been impossible because of the situation and the fact I feel so sick... it's just really stressful and frustrating. I just feel as if my life has been taken over, in a way that is totally different to how I felt with the M.E./CFS. I always felt that had taken over my life, but at least I had more control over it... this sounds ridiculous because I am sure I never felt that, but now I am in this situation, I realise I actually did have control of it in the sense that I had suffered from it for 18 years so I knew how it was going to affect me most of the time. This thing is unpredictable because I am relying on the medical profession, who just constantly seem to let me down... pffft. It's like a lottery.
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Sorry to hear that you are still waiting. I have the kind of personality where yesterday isn't soon enough, but have learned in dealing with this illness that I have to let things go. When it comes to your health, though, that is different. Waiting for test results is tough; yet, you are still waiting for the test itself.
I just read something about how this life is like the blink of an eyelash in terms of eternity. (not to get all religious, but perhaps more philosophical...) In some ways I agree. It feels like the sun rises and sets and the days pass away and when we look back we see how quickly it all passes by. THEN, there are those times when the hands on the clock seem frozen in place.
We are waiting with you. Let us know when you get the information that will help you step into the next blink.
take care
katy
kjfe
Oops. Just looked at what I wrote and realized the "next blink" could be interpreted as death. YIKES!! Not what I was going for in terms cleverness. I meant the next phase of your dealing with whatever is going on with your health.
Good heavens. lol
katy
kjfe
At least you had test done. My doctor just said you have TN and here is the mediction which may help if not we shall try something else. Waste of time going to these surgury as its a waste of time. Only if medication does not work at all then they will try surgical procedures, which may work. So I have never had a scan . Been told TN is still a debate among the medical professionals. I went to one silly brain doctor and was not happy with him at all. He said I have seen worse then you and gave me a lower dose. Silly ache hole. It was not long and my TN came back and thank God I still had other medication left from my doctor who has more brains then these other doctors. Anyhow it just show you that you wonder if some doctors know what they are doing. Anyhow hope all comes right with you.
fiddle
My darling, please let me remind you of your own power!!! yes!!! your own power!!! and it is= '' the power of you thought'' what you think is what you create!!! think about it and you will see that it is right!!! there for think before you think before you speak/write. create positivity around and within you! you can!!!!!!!!! love & Light
orit