luvscoco99's Journal

I CAN certainly be a huge bum..and just sit around the house and feel bad..which is what WAS happening to me...before I changed my sleeping patterns..and a few other items..but, other than that..I think that I am doing a bit better!

 I did gain some weight..but, I am working on walking and trying to get rid of the weight..and trying to enjoy what is  around me!..i.e. the scenery and stuff!

I have been lately on a particular blog..which is facebook..and I had connected to past classmates and such..but, there were some that I had tried to write to and I just could NOT get them to write me back! It began to really hurt my feelings..and (during this time, I was NOT sleeping at night..so, perhaps this is why I would get severly depressed..I don't really know..but, that's what I think..because horomonely I think that I am all messed up and stuff, from the lack of sleep! I was also supposed to get my period and I have NOT even gotten it yet! I am stunned that it hasn't happened..it's late..and before you think that I "might" be pregnant..no...sorry! I know that I am definitely NOT! LOL!)

But, back to the first paragraph in my update...as I have mentioned there were people that I had written to ..who have NOT written back to me..and I guess that personally it's really kind of made me angry.! I was sooo miffed by the fact that even a former neighbor won't write back to let me know how her sister(one of my former friends) is doing...I had had a falling out with my neighbors' sister..when I was about twelve and then, when I was older, ..she still wanted NOTHING to do with me!  She would make fun of me..while she was with these other girls whom I never knew. around where we used to live, and also in a drama class that we used to be in !!.I was just totally made fun of..and it hurt me so much! I thought..well, maybe, just maybe "the water is UNDER the bridge"..and I can say hi, thru her sister..so , I wrote her a letter..but, apparently her sister has NOT answered me back! I guess it must be on purpose..because it has been OVER a month..(I think.).and my former friend's sister had written to me a while back..but, now, forget it!! SHe has also been on facebook many times.,since the time that I have written to her,.and just totally ignored me!

I guess, that when people DUMP you, they mean business, although, I had assumed that there MIGHT be a chance that I would at least get one letter back..but, I wasn't sure. *Cocks head to the side...with a questioning look* ?!!!!!!

I guess that I just can't go around thinking too much that the person WILL write back or WILL want to reconnect with me!! I hope for too much I think!!

But, I never give up!! (Even if it leads to NOTHING!)

I had gotten way in over my head about being totally UPSET about NOT getting emails back from people...and I was getting so upset that it was rapidly turning into depression issues for me...plus, with no sleep..I was a disaster waiting to happen!!

I am just going to have to ignore some of the people who are ignoring me...(which hurts...a LOT!) I wanted so badly to connect..but, then again..I have to be honest..that a part of me could have cared less too, and that was right before I joined facebook!!!)

I partially want to see and talk to my former classmates..but, I also don't really want to get snubbed either! I have grown more and more sensitive about stuff..and I have forgotten to wear my thick skin..so that I won't be harmed!

I have also been thinking that people(such as my former classmates would WANT to REconnect..but, perhaps they don't want to, at all!

I also write about people(with no names on my facebook blogs) about former classmates who I could NOT stand after meeting them in person, right before I left California...I deleted those posts..because I thought that perhaps my former classmates might be pissed off with me, for writing that stuff..(I mentioned NO names..but, that these folks were about the rudest folks with whom I have had to get to meet!!)

Do you think that I should Not be posting these types of blogs on the blog area of facebook? why or why not?

I was going to post a smidge here about my diabetes..I think that I might be doing a little better, regarding my sleeping patterns and more..I will write later on..I have to go for now!

Talk to you all later!

luvscoco99