My Wonderful Wonderful Guy
July 18, 2008 8:35am
Well, Ilet him know how I felt and he wasn't interested. That's life. I was kidding myself anyway to think anyone would be interested …
Goal Completed on Jul 18, 08
nutjob1961 
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About Me
nutjob1961
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About Me
I have suffered from mild to moderate depression & OCD since puberty. I have tried various medications such as Anafranil, Prozac, Zoloft and Fluvox. However, the SSRI's precipitate hypomania and I was briefly hospitalized in 1990 for hypomania. The Anafranil seemed to work fairly well, but I had significant weight gain and other unpleasant side effects. Right now I am off meds and feeling reasonably well after almost 2 years of fairly severe (for me) depression.
I have suffered from mild to moderate depression & OCD since puberty. I have tried various medications such as Anafranil, Prozac, Zoloft and Fluvox. However, the SSRI's precipitate hypomania and I was briefly hospitalized in 1990 for hypomania. The Anafranil seemed to work fairly well, but I had significant weight gain and other unpleasant side effects. Right now I am off meds and feeling reasonably well after almost 2 years of fairly severe (for me) depression.
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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1 hug received
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Journal
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First Entry
March 10, 2008 10:59pm
Thanks to all for your welcome.
I am certainly not in crisis or despondent right now, but I have periods of OCD/Depression that range from mild …
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Hugbook
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HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL
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thanks your really nice! things are going ok here just trying to even things out a bit. :}
Hug
Thinking of you. I hope your new year is off to a good start.
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Thumbs Up
You are such a thoughtful, caring guy who deserves nothing but the best. A loving mate would not hurt either.. :)
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Moment of Peace
Thank you. I am a sweet guy with a big heart. I love to help others, as much as I can. Cant do much of anything anymore, but I can show love and kindness to others. :) kevin
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionMild to moderate depression/ocd Unsatisfactory experiences with medication and psychiatry. Feeling OK right now w/o medication but fear that the symptoms will recur as they have throughout most of my life and do not have any faith in psychiatry or psychiatrists. I would rather just tough it out @ this point.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Depends entirely on the therapist.
- Zoloft Not Working
- The stuff made me hypomanic. I suppose I have bipolar tendencies. I can handle depression/ocd, but I really don't want to be labeled as suffering from any type of psychosis. Psychotic people, frankly, creep me out....
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- Well now I do let myself get a bit weepy, but only in private, and it does help.
Close Accidents
severe multiple orthopedic trauma; inadequate pain mgmt; utter hopelessness (but NOT suicidality). What to do?
Treatments
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- Narcotic analgesics, which I do not want to use unless the pain is unbearable.
- Physical Therapy Too Soon to Tell
- Fair
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- sorry to vent my spleen. i should have added that i am in chronic pain due to multiple, severe orthopedic trauma in 2001. i guess that would be enough to give anyone a rather sour outlook.
Open Bipolar Disorder
I have not been diagnosed bipolar; I think I may very well be bipolar II or cyclothimic but I certainly don't care to be labeled as such. I have seen people in full-blown mania and it sure isn't pretty. My first real bipolar-type episode was precipitated years ago when I was given Prozac for depression/ocd...went hypomanic, spent 8 days in a private psychiatric hospital (Timberlawn, Dallas, TX) Any replies would be appreciated.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Fair but I just hate speaking in front of a group.
- Haldol Working / Worked
- Worked when needed, never more than 2mg/day.
- Risperdal Working / Worked
- OK; never more than 1mg/day.
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
I have had OCD off amd on for a long time. At times it goes away and then returns eventually. It has been moderatle severe, handwashing is my thing, but never so severe that I was unable to function.
Treatments
- Anafranil Working / Worked
- Worked OK, gave up b/c I gained almost 100 lbs & had an insatiable appetite.
- Luvox Not Working
- Bad. It made me hypomanic and irrationally exuberant, but not psychotic.
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
- Again, started w/25mg day- OK; increased to 50, hypomania. Maybe it would have helped if I had bothered to tell the MD - but arent these people trained to observe their patients???
- Prozac Not Working
- Worked well initially but the MD increased it from 2040 mgday and I was soon in the stratosphere so much that I ended up in a mental hospital for 8 days on a mental illness warrant after adamantly refusing to go in voluntarily. What decided me on that was that the MD wrote an rx for 10mg Mellaril at bedtime. All I knew was that it was an antipsychotic I showed no psychosis and the arrogant soandso didnt even bother to explain his reasoning to me. Typical MD with a God complex.
Open Gay Men's Challenges
Not much to say, really. I am gay, have known it since puberty, but spent years denying it and being filled with self-loathing. At age 46, I have never had any sort of romantic/sexual relationship with women and only sporadic, purely sexual contacts with men.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Closeted and self-loathing for years; finally have begun to accept myself.
Open Coming Out
Still half-in, half-out. Frankly I don't care for people who define themselves by their sexual orientation. I am who I am and I don't think it's a big deal.
Open Loneliness
Just kind of lonely, hoping to find someone to share my life with. But I have scars on my legs from surgery and am kind of flabby...afraid no one would want 'damaged goods'.
