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  Hug

  From JoeC Today

  "Thank Heaven It's Monday!"
  HUGS!!!!

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  Hug

  From grndmudder Today

  Pat, Sharing is the most wonderful thing. It helps me and it helps you. How can you argue with that? I will worry it is just my way. My husband has been trying to stop me for 21 years. I just have to care about people and worry about them. It is my job, it is what I do. It is just me. I love yo too Pat, and you are such a good friend. You share your son with me, and Logan. I share my family with you. That is a wonderful trade. I love you! Peggy

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  Thanks

  From JoeC Yesterday

  HUGS back at you too!

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  Prayer

  From grndmudder Yesterday

  Pat, You don't worry when you answer me. I am happy just as long as I hear you are all right, prteey often.(Every few days or so.)I am one that tends to take my loved ones close to heart, and likes to hear they are OK. Your little man sounds so sweet. He is a great joy to you,I know. If he does not make it all night this time again, he will soon. My grand daughter'Hailee that is 17 DEC 22 wants to come home from work with James on Friday and stay with us till Sunday evening. She has to do things some weekends. Last weekend was her Homecoming Dance at school. She is in 11th grade. Seems such a short time ago she was so tiny. This next week, Hailee's little 12 yr. old sister is out of school on FRI. She is coming home with James Thurs. night and staying untill Sun. She is a great one. She is the dare devil, the funny one, the one with the 100 watt smile. Her name is Kaitlin.My husband works in town, and they live in town. So he gets them after he gets off work, then comes home. We live about 25 miles from town. (Now we are talking about the big town. We live only 4 miles from WalMart in out little town!.)Those 2 girls are from my younger son. My older son's daughter has just turned 16 in Sept. She does not get to come as much, but we get to see her sometimes. Her name is Kayla, and she is so so smart. She thinks getting a "C" is getting a bad grade, and she has only made 1 on her report card so far. She is 10th grade. Now Hailee and Kaitlin, Paul's 2 have blue eyes light hair like Paul(who took after his dad.) Kayla, and her brother Michael, take after my Daddy they both have black hair and eues and dark skin. (My Daddy was alot American Indian.) My grandson, Michael is 21. He is married to Brittney, for 2 1/2 yr. and they have a 7 month old son, named Camron.(silly way they spelled it.) They are stying with us right now.Michael works at a Necleaur Power Plant that they are building near here. He is making pretty good money for here. They are trying to decide what to do. When Michael's phase of the constuction is done, supposed to be about 8 more months, then he will either have to look for a diffrent job, or they will have to move to Texas with the company. That job will last 5 years. Mike is having a hard time with this decision. When Michael was 6, he started living with my son, Steven for the whole year( and went to his Mothers in the summer for 2 months.) Steven raised michael alone, and he did a wonderful job. We bought 2 lots next to each other and lived next door to each other starting in 1993. Steven had the same job(an electrician, his house was 3/4 of the way paid for when he died. Steven was just an amzing Dad. James and I helped some. I did the things like dentist, Dr, school meetings, and stuff so Steven did not have to miss work. Steven got Michael off to school, and I did not work, so I got Michael after school everyday. Steven only fell apart with the depression starting April 2, 2003 when Paul, his "baby brother" died. The day Steven and I left from seeing Paul's body, he told me, I remember his words and hear them so clearly in my head, "Ma it just isn't right that I am still alive and my baby brother is dead. I am the oldest and I was supposed to die first." Steven was 5 years older than Paul. Steven never got past that sentence. Me, our whole family and our friends all tried. We did get him to go to a Dr. and get on antidepressants, and we did get him to go to a counseler. Pat, Steven was 38, and we could not make him take his meds, or go to his apointments. We could not get him to be social again or to talk. We tried everything we could think of. Pat, he just never got better, he got worse, he stopped his meds( we had no idea till after he died.) DEC 10, 2007 he hung himself in his out door unility room. He had built it himself, he was proud of that. My poor sweet James found him. James was awful devestated. He kept saying "Thank God it was me, Thank God it was not Michael or you, Thank God it was me that found him." As destroyed as I was over Steven and Paul, James's grief just beat me down. He loved Steven, his best friend. He was still thinking of protecting me and Michael. I cannot still understand how James can possibly love me that much. God took my sons and they had been my life and my heart since they were born, but even with that and then my step daughter, Karla also killing herself, 3 days after his memorial, Pat,In the middle of all my grief,loss pain and confusion,God has just still blessed me so greatly.
  I did not intend to go into all of this tonight with you. I don't know why it poured out of me. I as not sad today, I had a fine day. The weather was cooler.I wore a sweat shirt. We went to Kaitlin's soccer game and she won. I guess I must have needed to tell someone this. I have really said a lot of very "inward stuff" that I really did not intend to. I am thinking that God meant for me to finally say these things . I hope you are all right with listening to this. It is sort of dark, about a dark time for me.I don'y get it but It just felt right to say this tonight to you. I think it is partly the tremendous ammount of love you hold in your heart for your family(both the ones in this world and the ones who have passed on.)Also the pure love between your little Logan and you.You really are My sister of the heart, and I think that called out to me tonight, and I cleared my mind of some deep feelings. thank you for being my friend Love Peggy

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  Flower

  From bluemisty Saturday

  Pat .. sweetie..there is something ( beautiful )to be said for black and white Photos, Your boys are heart touchingly.. beautiful... Love you much.. Mary

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