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BrightEyes 
I really am not sure why I am writting this. I just really need to get a hold myself
On the way to my friends party I got extremely lost... I get lost no matter where I end up going.
Well I just flipped... I was by myself in the car and I just lost control.. I was screaming how I hate myself.. and how stupid I am because I never ever know where any thing is.. and that I am worthless and ugly and I deserved to die and wanted to die. I wanted to cut/ burn so bad.. I ended up digging my nails in to my hand ( I know.. no big deal.)
I managed to make it to the party after being lost for 2 hours.. I guess the good news is, I didn't self injure. I just really can not believe how out of hand I got about getting lost. It's just I really wanted to kill myself because I could not find the party..WTF is the matter with me?
Is this normal? Do other people get this way?
I just don't know what is normal any more...
Comments
Sounds to me like you took all the negative things you think about yourself and applyed them to the situation of getting lost. Which probably made things way more of a bigger deal than they were, thinking that your ugly shouldnt really have come into it and that probably only inflamed and frustrated you more. Even so i totaly understand this cos i find myself doin this alot of the time when things dont go to plan or my way, (i think how ugly i am) and even blame this on why things went bad!! Seems everything negative seems to come back to my appearence in some way or another. Do u have a short fuse at all, or any anger issues? when things arnt goin as id hoped can get overcome with a combination of anger and aniety... wondering if u may feel the same?
lloyd999