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  • Image of ladybuglover369

    About Me

    I am a wife and mother. I have been happily married to my husband since 2004. I have a wonderful little boy. I am now a stay at home/work from home mom. I am a survivor! I have dealt with so much pain, I sometimes wondered how I could carry on, but three years ago God came and picked me up, and my family right along with me. I am a woman on a search. In a divorce I was separated from my mother (Dad and step dad in military) and have not seen her since I was eight. I have not heard from her since my dad moved us across the country and am now searching for her.

    Interests

    I love to sing, write, read, study my bible, and play with my son and my baby brother. I am currently working on a website for Chiristain outreach. The Everyday Commission. It has been a wonderful experience and I am learning more about the word each day. Lately, I've been spending alot of time working on a website. It is a site to help Christians. It focuses on the great commission, and on helping people in need.

  • Recent Activity

    • Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
  • Journal

    • Betrayal

      Mood December 18, 2008 9:58pm

      Father to daughter, a sacred bond

      but tested in sorrow it grew ever more strong.

      Time gave me burdens, ever more heavy,

      and I also took his, that were …

    • Im Back

      Mood December 10, 2008 4:12pm

      I can't even believe the number of people that were praying for me while I was sick. Being in and out of the hospital hasn't been much fun. I …

    • Everything at once!

      Mood September 13, 2008 12:32am

      I don't even know where to begin this entry. It's so much at once. I guess it all began when we made the move in June. Things have gone …

    • My Story - Trigger

      Mood August 29, 2008 11:31pm

      I will start from the very beginning. I was born backwards and blue, because of the cord wrapped around my neck. It didn't get much better from …

    • Have you ever?

      Mood August 21, 2008 11:08pm

      So, have you ever had a dream, a really good one, and lost it. I don't mean the sleeping kind of dream, but the real dreams. The dreams of a …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give ladybuglover369 a hug



    • Rainbow

      From Anastacia Monday

      Hi sweetie.sending you lots of love and hugs..XX

    • Ray of Sunshine

      From SadTime Monday

      I just wanted to chek in with you and find out how you were doing. I notice your smiley face is showing you are still not doing good. How are you? It is rainy here and I am just resting while I work at getting caught up on my friends. Patricia

    • Ray of Sunshine

      From SadTime December 30, 2008

      I wanted to send you good thoughts for the day. How are you doing? Patricia

    • From Anastacia December 23, 2008

      Hi Lovely, Sending you lots of love and festive hugs! Hope you have a great Christmas! ..XX

    • Santa

      From SadTime December 22, 2008

      Sending you Christmas blessings Patricia

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    Progress

    50 %

    Goal End Date is Oct 10, 08 91 days ago.
    Current Weight (Lbs)
    160
    21 days smoke free. Last update Dec 18, 08
    Cigarettes (numbe)
    7
    View all in progress Goals
    Goal Completed on Aug 12, 08
    Goal Completed on Jul 30, 08
    Goal Completed on Jun 23, 08
    View all completed Goals
    Goal Completed on Jun 5, 08
  • Support Groups

    • Close Depression
      Type: Seasonal Affective Disorder

      Hi! I find myself depressed again. I've been in and out of depression so many times I can't stand it. This time it was recomended that I join a support group. I just need someone to talk to. Mostly, someone who understands what I'm going through

      Treatments

      Writing Working / Worked
      If I am writing, especially poetry, the saddness seems to flood from my heart to the paper. I can't explain it any better.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Close Interstitial Cystitis (IC)

      I'm twenty-four. I've been in pain since I was fourteen. That's ten years! Most people look at me and have no idea that I'm in pain 20 hours out of 24. As I deal with other problems, like depression, the pain is harder to bear. At one point, before I knew this was part of my problem, I begged for a full hysterectomy, because I'd been told I could never have more children anyway. But I've now been told I can. I've been on the diet method of control for 3 years! Not working anymore

    • Open Infertility, Secondary

      After the birth of my son at seventeen, I decided it was best to wait until marriage to even think about having another child. Well my husband and I have been trying for four and a half years to have another baby. He has never sired a child. I want four total, but at this point if God grants me one, I think I would be satisfied.

      Treatments

      Ovulation Predictor Kit Working / Worked
      It's sort of working, but not enough if I'm still not pregnant.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      I have post traumatic stress disorder as a result of physical, emotional and sexual abuse perpetrated against me as well as from being the victim of a violent crime. I am in the process of healing with the help of God.

      Treatments

      Music Working / Worked
      It works well if I stick to very calming music of christian music. I can generally calm within a few minutes of the attack.
      Rape Counseling Working / Worked
      It has worked for the most part, although in the beginning it triggered alot more attacks.
      Reading Working / Worked
      This generally will help me stop an attack and hide from the pain for a while.
      Serzone Working / Worked
      It worked for a long time, and they have recently lowered my dosage.
      Talking Working / Worked
      It doesn't always work. Sometimes it helps, but more often than not it triggers another attack.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Open Rape

      I was raped when I was nine years old 14 times. I was later raped three more times by three different people because of stupid choices I had made that put me in dangerous situations. I got married at nineteen and was then raped, abused, sodomized, and tortured by my husband. I have divorced him and am now remarried to a man that will never hurt me and protects me like a wolf.

      Treatments

      Rape Counseling Working / Worked
      Sometimes it works, but it is so hard to talk about it.
      Talking Working / Worked
      Sometimes it works. I have a hard time speaking about it.
      Writing Working / Worked
      This is usually my best option. I write poetry and cry and it seems to dredge it up but pull it out at the same time.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

      I was abused as a child by my mother. I have not seen her since I was nine because my dad took us away. I was abused by my ex-husband physically, emotionally, and sexually. I am trying to move on with my life.

      Treatments

      Abuse Counseling Working / Worked
      Worked. I dont go anymore. PTSD gets triggered
      Divorce Working / Worked
      It worked, although he stalked me for a year afterward
      Forgiveness Working / Worked
      I've forgiven both of my abusers. I hope that one day I will find my mother again so I can tell her.
      Music Working / Worked
      It helps the most
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Open Sexual Abuse

      I was sexually abused by my ex-husband. Its really hard to talk about. It affects the rest of my life.

      Treatments

      Leave Working / Worked
      It was hard to get away, but its the only thing I could do.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Open Insomnia

      I have had insomnia and various other sleep problems for years. I have been told it has something to do with my traumas and had counciling for it in the past. I don't go anymore though

      Treatments

      Ambien Not Working
      It made me sleep, but had too many side effects
      Counting Sheep Somewhat Helpful
      Sometimes it helps to count. Most nights though I reach the high thousands
      Lavender Working / Worked
      This works when I use it with music.
      Music Working / Worked
      Occassionally this will work. Especially if it's christian music
      Reading Somewhat Helpful
      Usually this has some effect, because it makes my eyes so tired, but it still takes hours.
    • Open Miscarriage

      I had a miscarriage at sixteen, and another at 19.

      Treatments

      Grief Counseling Working / Worked
      It helped
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.
    • Open Painful Intercourse

      I have painful intercourse due to interstitial cystitis and scarring, as well as cysts on my ovaries

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