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ladybuglover369’s Profile

  • Image of ladybuglover369

    About Me

    I am a wife and mother. I have been happily married to my husband since 2004. I have a wonderful little boy. I am now a stay at home/work from home mom. I am a survivor! I have dealt with so much pain, I sometimes wondered how I could carry on, but three years ago God came and picked me up, and my family right along with me. I am a woman on a search. In a divorce I was separated from my mother (Dad and step dad in military) and have not seen her since I was eight. I have not heard from her since my dad moved us across the country and am now searching for her.

    Interests

    I love to sing, write, read, study my bible, and play with my son and my baby brother. I am currently working on a website for Chiristain outreach. The Everyday Commission. It has been a wonderful experience and I am learning more about the word each day. Lately, I've been spending alot of time working on a website. It is a site to help Christians. It focuses on the great commission, and on helping people in need.

  • Recent Activity

    • Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.

  • Journal

    • Betrayal

      Mood December 18, 2008 9:58pm

      Father to daughter, a sacred bond

      but tested in sorrow it grew ever more strong.

      Time gave me burdens, ever more heavy,

      and I also took his, that were …

    • Im Back

      Mood December 10, 2008 4:12pm

      I can't even believe the number of people that were praying for me while I was sick. Being in and out of the hospital hasn't been much fun. I …

    • Everything at once!

      Mood September 13, 2008 12:32am

      I don't even know where to begin this entry. It's so much at once. I guess it all began when we made the move in June. Things have gone …

    • My Story - Trigger

      Mood August 29, 2008 11:31pm

      I will start from the very beginning. I was born backwards and blue, because of the cord wrapped around my neck. It didn't get much better from …

    • Have you ever?

      Mood August 21, 2008 11:08pm

      So, have you ever had a dream, a really good one, and lost it. I don't mean the sleeping kind of dream, but the real dreams. The dreams of a …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give ladybuglover369 a hug



    • Rainbow

      From Anastacia Monday

      Hi sweetie.sending you lots of love and hugs..XX

    • Ray of Sunshine

      From SadTime Monday

      I just wanted to chek in with you and find out how you were doing. I notice your smiley face is showing you are still not doing good. How are you? It is rainy here and I am just resting while I work at getting caught up on my friends. Patricia

    • Ray of Sunshine

      From SadTime December 30, 2008

      I wanted to send you good thoughts for the day. How are you doing? Patricia

    • From Anastacia December 23, 2008

      Hi Lovely, Sending you lots of love and festive hugs! Hope you have a great Christmas! ..XX

    • Santa

      From SadTime December 22, 2008

      Sending you Christmas blessings Patricia

    Read Hugbook

  • Photos

  • Goals

    Get back into shape!

    Progress

    50 %

    Goal End Date is Oct 10, 08 91 days ago.
    Current Weight (Lbs)
    160
    Beat this nicotine habit!

    Weeks

    21 days smoke free. Last update Dec 18, 08
    Cigarettes (numbe)
    7
    View all in progress Goals
    Write my Autobiography

    100%

    Goal Completed on Aug 12, 08
    Finish Building Website

    100%

    Goal Completed on Jul 30, 08
    Get Ready For the Move

    100%

    Goal Completed on Jun 23, 08
    View all completed Goals
    Restore my friendships

    100%

    Goal Completed on Jun 5, 08

  • Support Groups

    • Close Depression
      Type: Seasonal Affective Disorder

      Hi! I find myself depressed again. I've been in and out of depression so many times I can't stand it. This time it was recomended that I join a support group. I just need someone to talk to. Mostly, someone who understands what I'm going through

      Treatments

      Writing Working / Worked
      If I am writing, especially poetry, the saddness seems to flood from my heart to the paper. I can't explain it any better.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Close Interstitial Cystitis (IC)

      I'm twenty-four. I've been in pain since I was fourteen. That's ten years! Most people look at me and have no idea that I'm in pain 20 hours out of 24. As I deal with other problems, like depression, the pain is harder to bear. At one point, before I knew this was part of my problem, I begged for a full hysterectomy, because I'd been told I could never have more children anyway. But I've now been told I can. I've been on the diet method of control for 3 years! Not working anymore

    • Open Infertility, Secondary

      After the birth of my son at seventeen, I decided it was best to wait until marriage to even think about having another child. Well my husband and I have been trying for four and a half years to have another baby. He has never sired a child. I want four total, but at this point if God grants me one, I think I would be satisfied.

      Treatments

      Ovulation Predictor Kit Working / Worked
      It's sort of working, but not enough if I'm still not pregnant.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      I have post traumatic stress disorder as a result of physical, emotional and sexual abuse perpetrated against me as well as from being the victim of a violent crime. I am in the process of healing with the help of God.

      Treatments

      Music Working / Worked
      It works well if I stick to very calming music of christian music. I can generally calm within a few minutes of the attack.
      Rape Counseling Working / Worked
      It has worked for the most part, although in the beginning it triggered alot more attacks.
      Reading Working / Worked
      This generally will help me stop an attack and hide from the pain for a while.
      Serzone Working / Worked
      It worked for a long time, and they have recently lowered my dosage.
      Talking Working / Worked
      It doesn't always work. Sometimes it helps, but more often than not it triggers another attack.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Open Rape

      I was raped when I was nine years old 14 times. I was later raped three more times by three different people because of stupid choices I had made that put me in dangerous situations. I got married at nineteen and was then raped, abused, sodomized, and tortured by my husband. I have divorced him and am now remarried to a man that will never hurt me and protects me like a wolf.

      Treatments

      Rape Counseling Working / Worked
      Sometimes it works, but it is so hard to talk about it.
      Talking Working / Worked
      Sometimes it works. I have a hard time speaking about it.
      Writing Working / Worked
      This is usually my best option. I write poetry and cry and it seems to dredge it up but pull it out at the same time.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

      I was abused as a child by my mother. I have not seen her since I was nine because my dad took us away. I was abused by my ex-husband physically, emotionally, and sexually. I am trying to move on with my life.

      Treatments

      Abuse Counseling Working / Worked
      Worked. I dont go anymore. PTSD gets triggered
      Divorce Working / Worked
      It worked, although he stalked me for a year afterward
      Forgiveness Working / Worked
      I've forgiven both of my abusers. I hope that one day I will find my mother again so I can tell her.
      Music Working / Worked
      It helps the most
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Open Sexual Abuse

      I was sexually abused by my ex-husband. Its really hard to talk about. It affects the rest of my life.

      Treatments

      Leave Working / Worked
      It was hard to get away, but its the only thing I could do.
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Open Insomnia

      I have had insomnia and various other sleep problems for years. I have been told it has something to do with my traumas and had counciling for it in the past. I don't go anymore though

      Treatments

      Ambien Not Working
      It made me sleep, but had too many side effects
      Counting Sheep Somewhat Helpful
      Sometimes it helps to count. Most nights though I reach the high thousands
      Lavender Working / Worked
      This works when I use it with music.
      Music Working / Worked
      Occassionally this will work. Especially if it's christian music
      Reading Somewhat Helpful
      Usually this has some effect, because it makes my eyes so tired, but it still takes hours.

    • Open Miscarriage

      I had a miscarriage at sixteen, and another at 19.

      Treatments

      Grief Counseling Working / Worked
      It helped
      Crying Working / Worked
      It doesn't fix my problems, but it makes me feel better.

    • Open Painful Intercourse

      I have painful intercourse due to interstitial cystitis and scarring, as well as cysts on my ovaries

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