AmyG47's Journal

 So its 2:14am and my body decided to wake me up. Ofcourse i would sleep all day the entire week and then gain insomnia the day i have classes. Whatever. I am so tired. I feel like shit because my dog bit me and i smacked him and left him out of my room the whole night. he's never NOT slept in my bed so i feel terrible. He's such an ass at times though. He's scratching at my door with his tiny paws. It's so sad, its not like he remembers he bit me... ugh. Anyways i guess hes technically not my dog. Before Honey (my grandmother) past away from a severe case of cancer i was laying in bed with her and she told me how she was worried about Gizmo. That he would be left alone when she was no longer here. I told her i ppromise to take care of him Honey. and she said I know you will dear. So, I took on the promise... he's a little booger at times but since then we've learned to be best friends. He's very teritorial (most shih-tzu's are) but he follows me everywhere and wont really let anyone touch him but me. I understand he's scared. So now i feel like crack for smacking his butt. I miss Honey. My Aunt down in TN said i should write a book about her. she was s cuch a special person. the kind of person that touches and changes every single person she meets. 

I feel like I'm oing no where. Yes, I go to school full time but I cant stand the fact that I'm going to a community college. I miss Cedar Crest College so much, i just simply cant afford to go there. This semester I am trying really hard to get good grades... rase my GPA so i can transfer to a better college. maybe WMU or Oakland college. Alot of adults say oh its not that bad of a college even my therapist said it was a good college. Macomb community College is where all the people from high school go when they're gpa's arent high enough to be accepted anywhere else. I was so lucky to be accepted to Cedar Crest, it was perfect for me. like in a movie the smallest campus a private all girls college. It was like living in a dream.  I had my  heart set on becoming an art therapist... i could see my building and everything i could see my futer with kids and their projects. Thats why i moved to PA. they dont offer art therapy as a major in Michigan.  So i guess, like most unhappy employees, I will do what my family wants me to do... become a teacher. My whole life everyone wanted me to be a teacher... maybe because its a safe job? I dont know.  Even Honey pressured me into it a bit.  Maybe Ill try to become a therapist myself. Who knows, yeah I'm still young and have years to figure it out blah blah blah blah, but I dont want to be 30 and still in school. I want my masters... no doubt about that... but right now im going in circles just taking random classs that are leading me to no where.  PLUS once i get a degree from Macomb, those credits I'm sure will not transfer...  I miss Cedar Crest so much.

Whatever. these are just a few things on my mind. that and i really want to go to australia...or back to Japan. I miss it there...so beutiful and everyone is so kind and careing and slow and peacful... I have yet to discover the world down under. Anyone wanna buy me a ticket? Maybe ill have a money jar to save up for australia... i cant i have to pay off my camera and credit card first. bleh. When did i become an adult?  I'm going to go pee and try to go back to sleep... let gizmo back up on thebed... he doesnt know what he did.

P.S. Very dissapointed with this weeks Grey's Anatomy... its going downhill. 

ki wo sukette,

Amy

P.S.S. Sorry, i just realized how depressing this post sounds.