GracieSJ's Journal

                You know it’s always hard to know where to start and to keep it short. I don’t know about you but some of the longer journal entries are really hard to read. So I’ll be blunt. I decided to be a Protestant Christian at 8 years of age. I don’t know why that age sticks out, but we’ll let it have it.

                I first remember being depressed middle school. By high school I had joined a local church and entered hell. See, problem with being an undiagnosed and untreated bipolar and trying to follow all the rules screwed me up even more. I was hearing voices sometimes and seeing things other times. Mostly I was freaked out by my inability to conform.

                “Don’t be angry, don’t hate, don’t, don’t. Do good, be happy, love all.”

                Crap. I tried so hard not to be angry at my dad (I think he has it too) when I was working for him I would go in the bathroom and cry. Why couldn’t I obey?

                I wasn’t meant to. I was meant to be very sick.  And you want to know how I know that? Because I was, it has come to pass.

                I’ll leave you on the Christian problem… I’ve other more interesting ones I think I’ll save for later.

                Trying again to sleep.