long time
October 11, 2009 7:27pm
Ive not written here in a long time. I want to start again but then something is stopping me, wish i knew what, same thing with writing every …
dortoto 
7:52pm, October 31, 2009
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About Me
dortoto
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About Me
Depression, Eating Disorder, Alcohol Misuse, self-harm, personality disorder. I have been suffering with anorexia for over 20 years which developed into b/p, Ive had ocd's all my life, Ive also got depression, anxiety and all of the nasties that goes along with the rest. I am in therapy and only now realise the concept of healing. It is frightening and I'm struggling but trying my best.
Depression, Eating Disorder, Alcohol Misuse, self-harm, personality disorder. I have been suffering with anorexia for over 20 years which developed into b/p, Ive had ocd's all my life, Ive also got depression, anxiety and all of the nasties that goes along with the rest. I am in therapy and only now realise the concept of healing. It is frightening and I'm struggling but trying my best.
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Interests
Art, Nature, Photography, Design etc. Pets, wildlife
Art, Nature, Photography, Design etc. Pets, wildlife
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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4 hugs received, 2 hugs given, 1 journal comment
Saturday
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dortoto commented on DorytTheMagicalFish’s journal entry ITS TIME :-) I NEED A WEIGHT LOSS BUDDY! 9:16pm
Hi hon, are you truely overweight? I am sorry to ask but it's important, and I would like to follow…
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dortoto gave DorytTheMagicalFish flowers 9:13pm
*hug* best wishes for the weekend, all we can do is try our best. Thank you for what you said, I feel…
Thursday
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dortoto gave looking4help2 an I'm with you 8:04pm
ditto hon, and remember I am here and really really don't mind if you want to talk your heart out. *hug*…
October 31
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dortoto gave loopylu1986 a hug 8:43pm
I didn't know it was your bday, I am so sorry I missed it, but I hope you had a good day and honi I am…
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dortoto gave looking4help2 a hug 8:40pm
Thinking of you Tee and truely hope you are doing ok. *hug*…
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Journal
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This entry is private
This entry is private
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me
August 1, 2009 7:50pm
I hate myself so much atm, ive not exercised in ages and feel like a slob, yes yes im in recovery whatever, i just can't stand this, i know i can …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
hey hun. not going good. seeing dr tomorrow. take care xo
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Flower
Wishing you all of the best! Your kind words always bring such healing to my heart... Miss Em
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Ray of Sunshine
Hey, i still haven't got my head screwed on enough to answer the email just yet. am tossing up between going to bed early or rolling a joint. cos apparently it wont slow my metabolism, i'll just get fat if i get the munchies. which i dont, so weed is back on the menu maybe. on the other hand, if i dont, it will be three weed free days... i dunno.
how are you going? the dietician app was tough/challenging. tomorrow is dr and group. and i have to decide whether i'll withdraw for the rest of the semester or just finish the one unit that is less fucked up. i'm shit at decision making. but the new disability support person at uni is helpful/understanding.
hope you're ok. i know you have therapy tomorrow, hope it goes well.
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Thanks
Thanks for the hug,really need it right now.I'm Still here though,been laying low though as things have been rough for me.HUGS!!!!Thinking of you as well.Tee
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Rainbow
hey. will write to your mail tonight. last week i missed my psychiatrist app cos i was stoned/asleep but went to all others. this week i had gp and will have dietician and group as well, which i'll go to.
i want to buy something that will speed up my metabolism. because i've actually put on weight, found out in the dr's office and i'm so distraught. felt like a nightmare. my bmi is still in the healthy range but its gone up and i cant handle it at all. now the dietician has to help me lose weight. the gp said shit about addressing the emotional distress about my body image etc but i dont know how. and now i'm scared to smoke weed cos that can slow metabolism down. fuck. not so good. anyway love you to bits, hope the outing goes ok hun xoxo
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Depro coupled with eating disorder
Treatments
- Prozac Not Working
- all the pills I tried made me ill, I went cold turkey on the last batch which wasn't advisable but better then suffering through being ill and suicidal
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- working I think although has been 1.5years and only now thinking about things a bit
- Writing Working / Worked
- working if I do it, I tend to avoid
Close Eating Disorders
Type: Anorexiasince i was 8, it continued but after the first bad bout i decided if i can get through this on my own i can do anything on my own, it' never left and i didn't know. everything went tits up a few years ago and i found that i still had the ana. No one told me and it is very confusing because people usually assume your parents would get you help etc so they apparently just assumed the same for me.
Treatments
- Prozac Not Working
- made me ill
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- it takes ages but it's drilling through on some level now. i actually have a few good days sometimes
Open Personality Disorders
My thought patterns was/is so ingrained that I didn't even realise it. It feels as if I lost most of my life coz I wasn't and still isn't thinking the right thoughts. I twist things and sometimes realise it sometimes don't
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- It makes me realise what "normal" people think and how extremely wrong I am sometimes
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Working out why I think the way I do and seeing situations from all angles makes me realise when I dont think right I see things differently but it is frustrating because it makes me realise how badly I twist things and that kicks into depression
Open Osteoporosis
diagnosed with osteopenia 2 years back, Im too affraid to go for tests again and ive been forgetting my calcium so Ive no idea how far along this is and it scares the hell out of me
Treatments
- Calcium Working / Worked
- i really don't know, i get depressed and forget to take my tablets
