blah
December 1, 2008 3:42pm
What a blah day....so I finally get yahoo messanger up and running, and have perverts texting me. eww.
I miss Ken, I just want him to come …
Progress
5 %
KristinM
1:36am, December 16, 2008
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About Me
KristinM
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About Me
I lost my soulmate, my husband, my "BEAR" of a man, the love of my life Feb, 16, 2008. I gave him the flu I had. He caught it thhe day the Bud Shootout was on ( NASCAR ). He went to the doctor on Wednesday that week. I dont think they even listened to his lungs. They prescribed him amoxicillan, and told him its probably a sinus infection. We had been fighting all week about his drinking too much. He had a failed back fusion surgery & was headed for another surgery soon to repair the broken screws that were literally hung up on his nerves in his spine. Hes been trying to kill himself for two years from the pain. He just couldnt take it anymore. All he had to do was take better care of himself and get his surgery. He kept putting it off in fear of losing his job.I sent him by ambulance Friday morning. His blood sugar was 52, his oxygen level in the 60's. He hadnt been eating or drinking fluids. I was at work and didnt know.Saturday, his kidneys failed, then his liver, his heart was beating in the 140-160's ( that of an infants heartbeat )and his PH dropped to 6.93. Nurse CRATCHETT, kept saying "hes not going to make it", "hes not going to make it"...but I told her YOU DONT KNOW HIM. Hes been through ALOT worse.. Hell be OK !..... but when his organs started failing...I saw things change on him I never thought the human body did. Without going into all of the things I saw, I eventually had to say enough, just before they were hooking him up to a dialysis machine. He was already gone, brain dead from the PH level as I understood it. I still think hes at the hospital. Maybe recovering from another suicide attempt? Or getting yet another surgery...He had so many in the past 3 years or so. His broken arm ( two surgerys ), Testicular Tumor, Back Fusion, His body failed him AND ME, and he had no will to live. I wasnt enough. My daughter wasnt enough. He got what he wanted. My world has stopped. Me, I have Graves disease, as well s Hashimoto's ( thyroid diseases )and they both SUCK. Currently they say they are in remission, but I still have all the symptoms. They are going to refer me to a Rhuemetologist for testing for Lupus, Lyme Disease, Fibromyalsia(sp?), etc.. whatever they can test me for I suppose. The day my husband died was my appt for that testing. Obviously I cancelled it. I dont care what I have anymore. He & I both had back surgery. Mine in 2004. His in 2006. I miss him so much I want to die.
I lost my soulmate, my husband, my "BEAR" of a man, the love of my life Feb, 16, 2008. I gave him the flu I had. He caught it thhe day the Bud Shootout was on ( NASCAR ). He went to the doctor on Wednesday that week. I dont think they even listened to his lungs. They prescribed him amoxicillan, and told him its probably a sinus infection. We had been fighting all week about his drinking too much. He had a failed back fusion surgery & was headed for another surgery soon to repair the broken screws
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Interests
My daughters well being.My birds, one of which is his. ( I bought him a quacker parrot for Xmas.) Mine is a red bellied parrot. I love them both but Saydee is mine. I am hers. Our cat Kitty Baby keeps me on my toes. She was ferrel 1.5 years ago..now shes an inside cat. No more cold nights on the streets for her! Im a huge NASCAR fan, but its not the same without Ken.On Sundays we would turn onn the stereo and watch NASCAR as loud as possible!! Go Jimmy! Go Jeff! Go Dale! Go Casey!-
My daughters well being.My birds, one of which is his. ( I bought him a quacker parrot for Xmas.) Mine
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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another shitty day
November 30, 2008 6:56pm
Today has been very painful due to one of my illnesses, not sure which one. for the past few weeks its been like this. One day a month or so, Im ok. …
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Thanksgiving Day
November 29, 2008 1:20am
Surprise!!
My dxaughter and her BF came here and cooked me dinner!! I couldnt believe it. She did an awesome job, and it was the first time she …
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Thanksgiving
November 24, 2008 1:43pm
Well, I had told my daughter that the only way I was cooking turkey dinner was if she would help, and if she was coming, that otherwise Im by myself …
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Support Group
November 20, 2008 2:27am
Tonight, I went to my 1st grief support group. Im glad I did.
It helps to feel like Im not alone, not insane, not just a " depressed …
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Hugbook
Snowman
Thanks hon, I appreciate you!
Hug
Kristin, I see you are not feeling well today. Since we both live in Beaverton, I thought I would say hello and hope your day improves.
Hug
sorry to hear of all your problems hope things get better
Hug
I hear ya. Ihave new symptoms every day and get so nervous! Feel Better..
High Five
Hi Kristin, it is so good to see you are smiling today. I hope things continue to get better for you. By the way ~ your daughter is a amazing person.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseI lost my husband on Feb 16,08 to the pneumonia thats been going around. He would have turned 44 on Feb 22. His Funeral was on the 23rd. I do not believe that he is gone. Everyone had spouses to lean on. Mine is gone. Im alone. He was suicidal the past two years.I gave him the flu.I am in counseling,joining a suicide support group in my area.None of this brings him back.I heard " Someone" in my living room last night,and something touched my arm.It did NOT comfort me. It scared me to death.
Treatments
- Pets Too Soon to Tell
- I HAVE to take care of them ( my birds & his )... Plus two cats. It keeps me from shutting the windows & blinds, locking the doors and never venturing out ever again.
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- 2 visits..The psychologist knew my husband & I well.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- Family is being very very UNSUPPORTIVE.
Close Graves' Disease
I have graves disease as well as Hashimotos disease. I hate it.
Open Back Pain
Ive had a microdiscectomy on L5-S1, and just lost my husband who had a failed back fusion surgery.. screws broken and hung up on his nerves & all. Back problems~fun for everyone.
Treatments
- Cortisone (Injection) Not Working
- Caused perm damage post operatively.
- Fentanyl Not Working
- Slightly helped me, Did not help my husband.
Open Chronic Pain
For permanent damage post operatively from cortizone injections in L5,S1, and hip problems, knee & heels ( unknown why )as well as Thyroid issues Im on: Methadone, vicodin, Lexapro, Spironalactone,Diazepam,Rozerem and muscle relaxers.Of course, not every day, Half of them I use as needed, 2-3 days a week. The rest are every day. I stay under my dosage usually. But never over my daily dose. My husband however is a different story.......New to group- Hello fellow sufferers. Kristin
Treatments
- Chiropractic Adjustment Not Working
- Not at all..
- Cymbalta Somewhat Helpful
- For awhile it was...
- Heat Working / Worked
- Helpful- but bad after effects- increases inflammation
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- Norco- but b uild tolerance to it and have to switch back n' forth
- Methadone Working / Worked
- works- but be very careful - can EASILY OVERDOSE as it metabolises slowly!
- Morphine Not Working
- Nope- not at all.
- Naproxen Not Working
- Gave my serious permanent acid reflux
- Nerve Blocks Not Working
- Worked 1 day.
- Neurontin Not Working
- Made me a moron. Couldnt remember from one minute to another & still have perm problems with memory from it. Bad stuff.
- Oxycodone Not Working
- Makes me too tired.
- Physical Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Helpful until they MORONICALLY put me in traction- big mistake.
- TENS Working / Worked
- Helped alot- made it so I could take LESS meds while working.
Open Fibromyalgia
Just got diagnosed the other day. Also have graves disease as well as Hashimotos. Hi to all, Kristin
Open Loneliness
KristinM hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Foster Care
KristinM hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety
KristinM hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open The Financial Crisis
I live in Oregon, widowed, not working and Im scared to death of this economy like the rest of you. I Think that the OIL COMPANIES SHOULD HAVE TO BAIL OUT EVERYONE...Wall Street, but ESPECIALLY The Auto Industry. Theyve been in this together Anyway... Just my humble opinion, Kristin
