TLeigh's Journal

Well, I am still alive, and doing much better than I thought I would. The only thing scaring me, is I have a bad habit of avoidance, and I am not sure if I am doing ok for now because I am avoiding this, or if I am really doing ok! Codependence is so FUN! Ugh!! I know that sounds like I should KNOW when I am avoiding, but I have done it for so long that I dont' realize I am doing it anymore, then a year from now, all of a sudden I will freak out about what happened today! BUT, I did go get some more books : The Language Of Letting Go, and The Road Less Traveled. I plan on reading them like bibles.

I have a nerve wracking week ahead. My daughter starts Kindergarten, yes it's the middle of the year, but we lived in Indiana and the law there said she had to be 5 by June. Here in FL it says she had to be 5 by September! Her bday was in August, so she should be in school. She's going to miss more than half the year and it worries me. And she is terrified! She went to preschool in IN and she LOVED it, she even got mad at me when 1 day I was too sick to walk her to school. Just please, wish me luck with this that it all goes smoothly.

The other thing is, now that she is going back to school, I need to find a job. My mom has let me heal and rest all this time, which I am grateful. But, I am terrified!! LOL! I haven't worked in almost 2 years, and I am so unsure of myself, unsure I will wake up every day and GO, unsure of everything. I'm a bundle of nerves. I know I will feel better and my self esteem will get better too if I do, but it's the getting there that scares me. I just wanna go back to bed and sleep for another year!! (See what I mean about avoidance)!