Journal

hey, it's nick. a lot has gone on while i've been gone. i suppose it started around new year's... i got very depressed and psychotic. i left DS for who knows why. i was hospitalized not too long ago for 3 months. i changed i suppose. im stronger of a person, not so angry (not homicidal anymore), but a little more dark and emotional. life sucks so hard, and i still contantly think about suicide. the difference about now and before is that i realize that there is hope. also, i will never kill myself, as that would hurt those i care about. i realize that since i've been gone for so long, many of you have forgotten about me, and i understand. i have not forgotten about any of you though. so many of you have had a serious impact on my life, and i am forever grateful.

thx for reading,

try to have an alright day

:]

almost died.

and not from me.

i was sitting on the edge of a cliff

on a class field trip.

someone who i've had trouble with in the past

pushed me,

and i almost fell

and died.

i wanted to grab him

and jump off the cliff with him,

just to get back at him.

i dont know what i'm going to do.

I had a dream. I was in a big dark house. I walked up to a wall to see a stuffed body nailed to the wall. The expression on her face resembled pure shock and fear. I turned and saw her spirit standing in the corner of the room, staring at me, grinning maniacally. I tried to run but she just kept re-apearing everywhere, and many undefined voices grew louder and louder.

The next dream I had, I was outside of the school because of a fire drill. It was evening and the kids were laughing at me. The were calling me names and were throwing rocks at me. I fell to the ground and began to clench my face as my eyes turned jet black and I slaughtered everyone of them.