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disa 
8:44am, October 1, 2009
i learned to smile even when i wanted to cry.i learned not to make a sound as tears roled down my check.i had to act like everything was fine even though she just beat me .if i wasnt convencing another beating was the prize. i stop crying ouy loud when she beat me,i refused to give her the satifaction of hearing me cry.i havent cryed out loud since i was 7. to my friend who inspires me
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I learned to silently cry when i was married, so as not to disrupt my X's sleep. I still shook the bed sometimes, but most of the time, it didn't wake him. When it did, he was irritated. He did not beat me physically, but he had his ways. you are not alone, my dear one.
starfish
My hope now is that you learn to cry when it is hard. May the tears bring healing and hope. I've found that it is good to cry. Its good to let go sometimes. Hugs Brian
lokkingforpeace
It's okay to cry now. Let the tears flow. I think you will feel better, cry a river, it's okay now. Hugz.
Pipercub
But be aware that as we seperate from our abuser we tend to take over the abuse and abuse ourselves way more than the abuser ever did. Not only do I believe this but it is a fact!!!!
weinere46
i have been there and know how you feel...i will never do that shit to my kids.my stepmom was a fucking bitch who i hate and i cant wait to burry her
koopsdad
it is not good to hold in pent up emotions it is good therapy to cry the more you hold it in the more weight you carry on your shoulders I am so sorry you are hurting and can not express how you truly feel that must be very frustrating for you. That is a long time to carry that weight hopefully it is in the past and no longer happening to you. I know how it feels to hold things in it makes us feel angry and resentful we have to let it go or it eats us up and we are continuing to let them hurt us not physically bur mentally and that hurts even more HUGS
scotsman1
It is ok to cry, it is a GREAT pressure reliever..lol
God bless
ErnestE
I just ran out of tears, it hurt but later I just became numb. It's been working ever since.
Noemi4
Many of us who carry anger are only self- destructive. That could be what the woman in your life did and if you carry your pain, you will put yourself there also. Cry and cry hard, then forgive if you can, because all people have the ability to completely change who they were to who they choose to be now. Hugs and more hugs. I can guarantee you that she feels horrible for it. God bless you! Did you have any good times with this person?
Monica77