kaja2008's Journal

I cannot believe it's been a week from his birth. It seems both like one long day and like he was with us forever. He is such a miracle! We had a few ups and downs when we came home, mostly because my DH and I have never cared about a baby before or even seen anyone handling a baby. We took infant care classes and breastfeeding classes and I read some books but it all takes practice. Breastfeeding was challenging for a while. Laza ate very well but it took us long time to rouse him from sleep and then have him suck actively. He'd suck for like hour and a half,  including rousing up time, and then go to sleep, and then we'd have an hour before we had to offer the breast again. This is all because we were trying to follow instructions from our hospital to offer the breast 8-12 times a day. I just couldn't see how to achieve both the frequency and to let him suck as much as he wants. Then finally on like day 4 of his life I figured I'm  going to:

      1. let him sleep and eat when he wants and not on the clock

      2. offer one breast until he is done with it, then offer another, so he gets all the hindmilk he wants. believe it or not hospital handout had suggestions of doing the opposite! I had to reread "Bestfeeding" book to find out that the strategy  "finish first breast first" is what they recommend. And it makes perfect sense

Well since day 4 we had lovely short feeds. My milk came in A LOT, one day I looked like Dolly Parton, seriously. Then on day 6 Laza started crying when he goes on the breast. He would latch great, suck a little, frown and spit my breast, then get furious to latch on again and this would repeat and repeat until he cries in frustration. I couldn't figure out at first what's wrong. I could hear him sucking and swallowing well. If anything, too well ... and that was the problem. After a day of bumpy feeds I figured out that milk is flowing too fast. It drips like from a faucet and he cannot keep up but chokes. I called a lactation consultant at the hospital who said this will self-regulate and I should just continue ... Bull! I finally found online that my problem is called "forcefull letdown" and that I need to use quite different latching positions to let Laza deal with it. He needs to be sitting up not lying down and his mouth on top of my nipple and not below like in a normal latch. So now we feed with me almost lying down and him on top. And we're back to happy feeds!

Laza is amazing! He can almost turn over and he smiles sometimes :) Such a charming smile! He goes to sleep easily and sleeps in 2 hour stretches. We have our pediatrician appt this Friday and I hope she'll say he's doing well. He is so amazing, I don't know how I lived without him all these years. I am so over the moon and I truly feel as if I somehow climbed to heaven and reached out and got a hold of a shiny shiny star to hold in my hands. This is the BEST I have ever felt in my life, there are no words to describe i

Oh, and now it's feeding time :):) To all my DS friends, thank you so much for your support and good luck on your journeys. They are hard but the prize in the end is so worth it! I am praying you get your BFPs real real soon, and if you already are expecting, that you get a healthy, live baby at the end of that journey. Being a mom is the best thing in the world! While I was often sad and desperate when fighting IF this all makes me appreciate our little miracle even more. Sending lots and lots of hugs and BFP vibes to everyone waiting. And yes, birth story is coming soon.