Just an update 5/4/09
May 4, 2009 7:00am
I've been so busy. More than anything I wish this damn rining in my ears would stop. The volume has gone up. It is definately a jaw (Tmj) …
Heckster
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About Me
Heckster
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About Me
After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my spouse was a closet gay like former Gov. McGreevey, Sen.Craig and Foley. What has been difficult is the fact he remains in denial due still to public discrimination. He has made himself the victim and has the children's sympathies. I am the outcast for initiating the divorce to achieve a true "authentic" relationship one day with somebody. I am angry and disappointed in my children's alienation of me and it depresses me terribly on a daily basis. I didn't have a choice , I am intitled to a true relationship after years of physical rejection and emotional abuse/manipulation. Love does not produce these things, a small minded sick mentality does. I'm updating this profile because..........I'm going home to NJ. The only way to make things right is comfront the demons and then they go away. FEAR is like a Hologram..FACE IT and it disappears. I'm reading two good books and just got a third. Rather than absorb the negativity I'm reading to re-invent myself and my own self destructive attitude. Guess what I'm a good person and if you don't like it......go get an ice cream! I'm coming HOME!
After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my spouse was a closet gay like former Gov. McGreevey, Sen.Craig and Foley. What has been difficult is the fact he remains in denial due still to public discrimination. He has made himself the victim and has the children's sympathies. I am the outcast for initiating the divorce to achieve a true "authentic" relationship one day with somebody. I am angry and disappointed in my children's alienation of me and it depresses me terribly on a daily basis. I didn't
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Interests
I moved to another state to start over. I have accomplished involving myself in two volunteer programs to help network to find a job. I joined a gym and workout and walk everyday. I also take 2 doberman's I'm in charge of to the State Park everyday across the road. It's animal friendly and they run with other animals and chase balls and sticks and run thru the creek with dogs. It's an amazing theraputic walk each day. I'm hunting for a job which is a disappointing aspect right now. No bites or interviews. I am making some friends, extremely friendly here in COLORADO. People take the time nomatter where to say hello to a stranger or friend. There is abundant common curtesy and politeness which astounds me. There is no cursing. I went snowshoeing this winter asd just got an invite to try hiking. I'm looking for a bike to go biking w/ my longtime g/f who I grew up with and lives here in CO. Going to volunteer at a Dog shelter in Denver. An unbelievable facility that looks like a campus for unwanted animals. They have over 600 volunteers to get these animals adopted. I want to go fishing in a creek or lake this summer. I want a job so I support myself. I want to find a man who will love and appreciate all of incredible attributes that were so used and abused by my Ex GH.
I moved to another state to start over. I have accomplished involving myself in two volunteer programs
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Recent Activity
November 8
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Heckster posted a new photo 9:41am
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Heckster gave DebTex an I'm with you 9:37am
Thank you for your wonderful support letter. It was alittle better yesterday. I think for most Part (depending…
November 7
November 6
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Journal
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Was rejected once again.
March 18, 2009 10:38pm
Several weeks ago met what I thought was an amazing man, took my time getting to know him. Was truly impressed with all his charities, …
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Im so depleted again.
March 18, 2009 8:56am
I'm so depleted again. I shouldn't have to wake up feeling like I wish it were my last day. When i see people like natasha Richardson …
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I've slip back
March 16, 2009 8:06am
You spend your life creating this thing called Family only to wake up one day and find yourself alone! All the sacrifice of making a family and …
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I couldn't sleep last night.
March 15, 2009 10:09am
I couldn't sleep last night even though it's the only thing that takes me away from my mental anquish. It hurts to wake up everyday feeling a …
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Hugbook
Hug
I am doing okay...How are you? I have been thinking about you....Please let me know how you are doing....
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Moment of Peace
I read your reply to lilyputtin and I am sorry that your T keeps getting louder. I hope that it levels off for you. It's tough...how do we get use to something that is constantly changing? I have sinus & TMJ problems also. It's weird how many of us with T have alot of the same problems. Did you have sleep problems before your T started? Wishing you peace. Deb
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Hug
so glad to hear from you!! How are you doing? I am surviving day by day. I have to admit, I am a LOT better than I was about a yr ago. Still have some really bad days, nightmares are less...I just really miss my momma sometimes. This month will be 2 years, so I am sure I will be stressed....Please let me know what is going on with you....
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Flower
How are you? Haven't heard from you in a while, just wanted to say hi...
(((Hugs)))) Melissa -
Hug
How are you? I am worried about you...I see from your entires that you have been having a hard time..I hope you are better. Let me know how you are.. Melissa
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Tinnitus
During the divorce was on antidepressants. Then got a job as a recptionist with headsets and slowly the noise appeared.
Treatments
- Lipo-Flavanoid Not Working
- Lipo did nothing for me. Also had a procedure performed by a plastic surgeon injecting lanacaine in ear......lost a day in my life with 7 hrs of vertigo. No results. Condition worse.
Close Depression
Heckster hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Menopause
I am 55 year old who suffered terrible PMS and now menopause. I want to jump off the nearest mountain some days.
Open Coming Out
I was married 27 years to a closet gay until he got sloppy and got caught.
Open Breakups & Divorce
Treatments
Open Life After Divorce
I am divorced 3 1/2 years after 27 years of marriage to closet gay. I lost most of my long term friendships due to the nature. I realized I was lonely to and here's what I did!
