greatfulkmw's Journal

Oh yes, Monday.. feels weird.. hubby back at work after nearly a month due to being really sick with upper respiratory infection...youngest in school and my older son is home.  I have to work tonight and it gives me anxiety as I still don't know what I am doing at this new job!  I mean, I am starting to get it but theres alot to learn and selling memberships is how we make our money and I don't have the experience yet to push it.. at least I don't work by myself!  I hate working nights.. much rather meet my family at home after a hard day at work and then be togethor.. oh well.. I have only been sober 6 weeks and although it feels good not to have the hangovers, anxiety etc.  I still have a hard time just being in my own skin .. sometimes. I sort of walk around, pick up here and there, try to keep on top of bills and daily responsibilities but always feel like I should be doing something more.. I wish I could make everything "perfect", the way my mind sees how life should be.. more money, better house, my disabled son would have a great job and lots of self esteem, my daughter would behave and not give me a hard time, I wouldn't obsess, worry, feel scared all the time.. thats what life does to me.. I pray to GOD to take away the bad feelings and replace them with hope and faith that all will be ok.. I THANK GOD I am not drinking today.. I still have that to hold on to with dear life!