Today I am trying to find an answer …
Today I am trying to find an answer to how to make it through Christmas since my son died.
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NotReady2BackDown 
2:46pm, October 2, 2008
Today is my dad's birthday. First one since he passed. I put flowers on the grave...still pissed off that I cant afford a headstone...I hate myself for that. Ugh today just sucks.... 
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Don't hate yourself ! U have been a good dtr and did right by your dad, and I know he is looking down so very proud of you and the fact U put your foot down with your looser Ex and are working so very hard right now! I know U want to get him one, and maybe someday U will, but right now what is important is U remembered him, and took him flowers! U honored his memory and that is so very special.....
I am so sorry for your pain and I wish I could take it away for you! Wrap your arms around yourself and squeeze hard and that's a big hug from me! Tomorrow will be better...U will see
ShannonDP