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Gina45 
6:35pm, November 15, 2009
You know when you get so hurt, so down and so low and then someone kicks you even more. That feeling when someone you have loved and cared for so very much actually wants to see you harmed, hurt and damaged is so despressing and so upsetting.
I told my husband how low I was, how I just could not bear going through the divorce process right now. Silly, sad and pathetic that all I have is that little bit of paper. That is all I have left of my dream.
And all I asked was that he let me keep it, just a little longer.
All he could do is yell, scream, rant and tell me over and over how horrible I am, how this is all my fault.
yes, I have made lots and lots of mistakes. And I am honestly, truly sorry about that.
I can't believe how badly this has all turned out.
I have lost my faith in humanity and know that I will never ever try to love again.
That is sad.
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Gina, I am so sorry for your pain. We have all made mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it. You are a very deserving person. You deserve happiness. You are not a horrible person. I know you are greiving over your life together. You have to remember to take care of yourself. Honestly the one thing that has helped me is no contact. He is not able to hurt me if I can't see or talk to him. You need time to heal. You won't be able to if he can't be civil around you. Take care of yourself. Keep your head held high and you will get through this. I wish you all the best.
dawnsule
hang in there you will get through this you are an awesome person and deserve happiness in your life dont give up now peace and hugs
slkmom