Update
February 25, 2009 7:21pm
I was away for quite a while. Fancied myself cured of all of it. Only because I forced that smile on my face and decided that it …
Progress
50 %
Distance (miles)
10
Frumpologist 
10:14pm
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About Me
Frumpologist
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About Me
Trying to gain back that positive attitude. I hate it when it slips away.
Trying to gain back that positive attitude. I hate it when it slips away.
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Interests
Law: corporate, criminal and family. (In that order.) Psychology. Socialogy. Research. Learning. Philosophy. Shakespeare. Reading. Brain puzzles. Debate. Controversy. Politics. Ron Paul. Harry Potter, writing, writing Harry Potter.
Law: corporate, criminal and family. (In that order.) Psychology. Socialogy. Research. Learning. Philosophy.
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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1 discussion post, 1 journal post
Yesterday
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Frumpologist and NurseDani are now friends 10:47pm
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Frumpologist wrote a discussion post in the Sexual Abuse support group: Relapse. Help? 10:33pm
Hey all. It has been a very long time since I've been on these boards trying to figure out how to save…
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Frumpologist updated their status 10:14pm
what is happening to me?…
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Frumpologist changed their mood to Bad 10:13pm
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Frumpologist changed their mood to OK 10:13pm
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Journal
This entry is private
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Post Crisis Reflection
July 28, 2008 3:19pm
Somewhere deep inside, I found some leftover strength. I'm not sure where it came from and I didn't even know it was there. But I'm glad …
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Woo.
July 12, 2008 2:51pm
I believe I've finished blaming the girl. :) I have for quite a while, but wanted to be sure.... and I'm certain that I …
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Hugbook
Little Love
Thank you so much for being a supporter!
Hug
I'm sorry your feeling horrible...just wanted to send you a hug for support :-)
Moment of Peace
big hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hug
Thinking of you! Hugs, Angel
Hug
Thought I would stop by and say that I haven't forgetten about you. School has really taken off and I have been so busy. I hope and pray that all is well. Please take care.
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Sexual Abuse
I'm not quite comfortable with this, so bear with me. My sexual abuse started at age 5, continued until 12. It happened again when I was 14, and started again when I was 18, and happened sporadically until I was 21. The forms of abuse were varied and each has its own negative impact. For the longest time I refused to talk about it. Now I believe it's time to start.
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- This is a current treatment. It's uncomfortable and it's hard, embarassing and degrading. But, I can't deny that it's helped the bad times get easier and the worse times managable. Negative side effects: I feel more withdrawn after I talk about it. I feel gross. Embarassed.
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
- If I'm understanding this choice correct, which, who knows if I am... having the will power to save myself from the pain of what being a sexually abused person, or AMAC, has helped immensely. Through being positive, determined and courageous, I've been able to hold my head high. That, for me, is an important part of keeping myself together. Staying me. Side effect: Lack of emotion. I've held back on a lot of emotion, for fear that my walls would tumble down.
- Xanax Not Working
- I was having constant panic attacks. Not only brought on by stress but also the consistency of my memoriesdreamsinsomniafear. I took xanax as prescribed by a doctor to relieve anxiety and panic... but it only surpressed and didnt heal. It allowed me to sleep but left me a little more numb than I care to be.
Close Panic Attacks
I've had panic attacks starting from when I became pregnant with my son at 17. Then, it was diagnosed as SVT and I was given loads of tests on my heart. Since, I've been diagnosed with having anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I've had two that have caused me to black out and many that have had me to the point of near fainting. Usually, the worst of it begins with a rapid heart and strange vision. I've learned to talk myself through it in most instances.
Treatments
- Patience Somewhat Helpful
- It's hard to be patient when you feel like you're dying. So. It's helpful as a mental tool, but not for overall extermination of the problem.
- Paxil Not Working
- Paxil was prescribed for me over a year ago. I refused to take something long term. I'm stubborn.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- This is something that is good for the short term, and for realizing a long term goal. But in the fury of an attack, it disappears.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- My psychologist did nothing for me.
- Xanax Somewhat Helpful
- I only take this in the circumstances when I can't pull myself from the attack and I refuse to go to a hospital over the attack. Generally, it calms me down, makes me sleepy... but it won't solve the problem... it only blankets it.
- Talking Working / Worked
- My boyfriend will let me talk ramble anything while Im having an attack and for the most part it helps me calm down. Also listening to him talk soothes me as well. Hes very supportive and this technique hasnt failed me yet.
Open Miscarriage
I've had three miscarriages from the time I was 16. The last one I had was in September 2007. I know that I can have children - I have a five year old son. But I can't help but feel there's something I can do differently to make sure miscarriage doesn't happen again.
Treatments
- D&C Working / Worked
- I guess a D&C has to work, doesn't it?
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a RelativeI lost my great aunt Mary when I was 10 years old. She was as good as a second mother to me. It was by her that I was religious, because she had been a nun for 40+ years. After she passed from ALS, I gave up on a lot of things... I've lost my grandfather recently and another grandfather three years ago. I have a hard time with death and frequently have episodes of picturing people I love dead.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- I don't typically cry... but this will help relieve some of the pain short term.
- Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
- There has to be some outlet.. so long as no one hears me, this works a treat for short term.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- Because people never know what to say.
- Helping Others Working / Worked
- The people I've lost have all been generous. Giving as they would makes me feel closer to them.
- Keeping Busy Working / Worked
- Idle hands are the devil's playthings; idle minds are the devil's playground. Keeping myself busy has also kept me together.
- Music Working / Worked
- It helps keep emotions at bay and allows me to relate to someone else.
- Poetry Not Working
- The poetry all came out stupid =P
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I pray for strength... and I'm a very strong person. So, it's worked.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- They never know what to say, do they?
- Reading Working / Worked
- Takes my mind to other places.
- Remembering Working / Worked
- The most painful way... but the most helpful by any means.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- No one really knows what to say. I typically write my thoughts on death, rather than speak them... and it works better that way.
- Time Not Working
- I'll forever remember the pains of their passings. Bottom line.
Open Self-Injury
I used to be very aggressive with myself. Cutting was the majority of the problem. I still have the slight scars on my arms and legs. The thoughts are always there, to do it again. I haven't in two years.
Treatments
- Writing Working / Worked
- It keeps the thoughts of hurting myself away. Its worked for two years.
Open Parenting Big Kids (5-8)
I have a 5 year old son - the light of my life.
Open Single Parenting
I'm a single mom with a 5 year old son.
Open Eating Disorders
Type: BulimiaI've been recovering from eating disorders since the age of 10. It's always been on and off.
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Avoidant Personality DisorderI have a very avoidant personality. I fear rejection, negative criticism, etc.
Open Families & Friends Of Addicts
My mother is an alcoholic, though she'll never admit it. Most of my childhood memories of her are from her being drunk. She was emotionally... maybe not abusive, but it was horrible, living with the thought that I'd never be a good enough daughter for her - no matter what I did. It seemed like every drink she took was to blind herself from another one of my faults.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
Haven't smoked pot in four years. Never want to do it again. I don't care what anyone says - it's a bad drug.
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
I popped pills from the time I was 13 until the time I was 17. I now nearly (not under every circumstance) refuse treatment of recurring problems for fear that I'll become addicted again.
Open Anxiety
I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder over a year ago. It causes me panic attacks regularly.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- It doesn't stop a panic attack when it comes... but it helps fend them off, some of the time.
- Paxil Not Working
- I refused to take long term medication.. therefore, I only took it for a week.
- Valium Somewhat Helpful
- I was given a shot of valium when I went to the hospital and was having a panic attack. I didn't like it, because I felt sick afterwards.
- Xanax Somewhat Helpful
- I hate taking prescription meds... and this one is no different. I stopped xanax, but I have to admit that it calmed me down.
Open Phobia
Type: HypochondriaHypochondria. Which would explain why I've joined so many groups. =P No, really, joking aside, I have a tendency to find symptoms that aren't real, and self diagnose illness. Most notorious was when I tried to convince my doctor that I had cancer. This tends to bring on the panic attacks. Badly.
Treatments
- Acceptance Working / Worked
- I can usually talk myself out of it... but it still can cause panic attacks.
Open Breakups & Divorce
I was married for 3 years this month and am now starting the divorce process. To put it simply: he was a jerk.
Open Rape
I was abused for most of my childhood, but was raped by my soon to be ex husband.
Open Healthy Relationships
Frumpologist hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Step Families
I just have some questions, because I have a step brother I've never met...
