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bloodyandtornkittie 
3:24pm, October 9, 2009
this depression is getting worse.
last month i had a horrible cough that wont end. it seems to be gone now.
gas got turned on in my name with downtown benifits but it wont last long.
i'm not stable enough to work. and one of my landlady's kids or maybe herself went into my room AGAIN. .things are missing but i'm not blaming anyone , i just wish i knew who did it this time.
my dad donest seem to care ..he just met me and now he throws me away. i thought i had true friends but it seems like they use me for cleaning only.
it hurts..this all hurts. i dont want to be around.
i dont know how to say "no i had enough"
i give and give untill i'm crying holding onto the blade...just trying not to go as far as cut myself.
i hope either that my dad likes me enough to let me stay with him in LA or i'll just find a way to disappear. i have no family to go to or friends so i might as well.
one friend i can really call my friend is lisa. she has done so much for me..and i feel bad just staying here around her family, even though downtown benifits help..i still cant do this.
i know there are people worse off then me but at this moment i dont know anymore.
oh yea..i cut again but not as deep. there goes 6 months down the drain.
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With everything you're going through, it's good to know you've got a friend who cares. Don't feel bad or guilty about it, you need and deserve all the help you can get. Keep us posted on how things are going. Take care.
tattyhead184