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viking63 
5:12am, February 15, 2009
I work out of town every day and commute. it is about 45 min of driving and is really good to get some time while on the road to unwind from a busy day.
I started to drink about 2 years ago when this thing started. Now it is a daily thing that I have told myself i will drink so I wont have to deal with the problems any more. Been killing a gallon of rum a week pretty much by myself. I just don't want to go to bed and wish anymore.
People at work are aware of wife, and understanding. talking. being my wing man when I am at a party with coworkers, but... would give it all up for my wife back.
I don't think it is a problem... wife says it will destroy my stomach... but... it isn't....
well another day, week, month... year... when will it end....
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yesterday was a good lazy saturday. I can honestly say I did nothing. Played with the dog, lunch, nap, watched tv, nap, dinner, held wifes had on and off all day. kissed her every time I got up. complimented her on dinner. it was really good. listened to the rain. went to bed. touched her and she rolled over and went to sleep. well another day of trying ....
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trying to cope today. not really supported today with those i know and respect. Hard to make it through today. talked with wife about work and things we did today, shared a bottle of wine, will probably go to bed not touching again...
My mind wandered today ... all the pain of divorce in past still close, and don't want that pain... although...not sure about how to go on with this void, this emptiness. wife has apointment on mar 3. maybe dr will increase meds and make a difference.
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You are trying so hard. I am sorry we can't help you more. I hope the doctor can help your wife, but I don't think there is an easy fix. This is one of the reasons marriages fall apart, which is so sad. This should be the best years of our lives. But it will get better in time.
4am. I am not sure what to feel anymore. is it enough.... went to dr yesterday and perscribed paxil for depression. now I am second guessing if i am depresses. I am not the one with the problem, other than being physically contacted by my wife. the women in the menopause SG mostly have no sexdrive in them. (sexist comment coming) no wonder why men leave the wives when they are in later 40s to 50s. this is still an improtant piece in a males life. to stop that part of male life, they move on to someone younger. not saying that is going to happen to me, but I am begining to understand.
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Does your wife want to help herself or are you just doing it all?
Past Entries
| February 2008 |
Friday, 2/22
|
life sucks .....
viking63
And how is drinking working for you?? I sorry to tell you.... there are much better solutions then turning to booze.been there.. went thrrough years of drinking and quit and then drugs then quit..Finally accepting my slef and moving on with life chemical free.is far better...But you are a grown man and you will live your life as you see fit..
4getmenot