Journal

The Holidays are upon us, of course. Now different countries have different dates for certain things, but Colleen and I wish you all the finest of Holidays. I know that the Holidays are VERY hard for some of us. It is about this time of year we see so much depression, suicidal ideations even. I don't know if it helps, but I have been there. So has Colleen. All our stories are different, such that we cannot FULLY understand each other's feelings completely. We just have different lives.

But if it helps, I can send a message of hope.

Not so long ago, I was fighting MRSA, an amputation, the loss of all I had, which was significant. I remember the Holidays were really tough. No use going into long stories, it is mostly in our profile.

Thanksgiving, I would go to Boston Market and get the turkey dinner. Eat it alone, watch football, and cry. I was just about completely alone. I had my doc, my therapist, my podiatrist, like that. At least I had them. My girl had left me. I had run out of money, my foot she couldn't bear to look at. I don't blame her, really.

Christmas was about the same. I put up my little fake tree, bought myself a football game and wrapped it, put it under the tree, got another Boston Market dinner, and wept.

Out of nowhere, I found DS. I love it here, love you folks. I decided to get off my rear and quit feeling sorry for myself. I joined groups, helped as I could.

One day, out of nowhere came a woman called Colleen. I mean, I made it VERY clear on my profile I wanted NO relationship. Neither did she. Well, we got to be friends and you know the story. Now we are very happily married.

Just want you to know, if you are lonely on the Holidays, in pain, feeling hopeless, in grief, or sick, whatever, we will be your friends. I don't care if you believe in God or not. I WILL not push my Bible down your throat, ever. I just want you to know we care. I don't care if you are a friend or not, or even if you don't like me or us. We will care.
And odd as it seems, impossible as it may seem, even with the most dire of circumstances there is hope.

I just wanted those who are lonely or sad on the Holidays to know: we are here. Wally

Oh, my!!! Sunday, November 15 is yet another birthday! (writing now, because we won't be around much this weekend). I look in the mirror every morning and say "my goodness, am I THAT old?" "What happened to 1972?"

You know there was a time when I looked just like Randy Bachman of "Bachman Turner Overdrive". Go to You Tube and type in Bachman-Turner, and my favorite old song "Four Wheel Drive". I looked just like Randy. Long, wavy red hair, big beard (red too). I look at that, I wonder how I got to today alive, Ha!!! I can't grow a beard or moustache now, because it is white as snow. Funny my hair isn't white. Yet!

They treat you different when age creeps up. I get the "Senior Discount" in some places. My daughter (step-daughter) Angie, she follows me around to make sure I get wherever I'm going. Am I senile yet? I KNOW I'm crazy, but senile too? Is it getting time for the nursing home? Ha!!!

I have fun with it, really. It really doesn't matter. The greatest gift I have is my love of Heavenly Father, and also my Colleen. I am blessed with a big, wonderful family.  Found out something about Colleen: she HATES "Gomer Pyle, USMC" (of which I have a big series, love it!) She is originally from Tennessee and says Gomer makes Southerners look stupid. Well, she grew up in a dignified plantation home. It is ME who grew up in the sticks. I mean I was a Barbarian.

One thing I am learning. I am JUST TOO OLD to go on fighting. The USMC years are behind me. I just can't take on all the USA enemies singlehandedly as I would like. I guess there is a different war for an old vulture like me. A spiritual war. Now that I can fight in. This world needs help. It might not be much, just one little good act here and there. But every little thing helps. Deep down, I'll always be Marine though. I WILL be buried with my dress sword. The USMCemblem in the lining of my casket. Yeah, when you REALLY start planning your funeral, you are getting there, pal! But I might have a decade or two left. It is up to God.

Birthday presents aren't important. I have Colleen by my side. That is the best! But we'll be gone this weekend. It is going to snow, they say. We will be away up by the Wyoming border, in Morgan, UT. Son in law Nate and now 6 year old Cameron have their birthdays too. I can't wait to see the look on Cameron's face when he sees what "Grandpa Wally" got him. It is the joy that is the thing! Joy and Blessings to you!

I enter this Veteran's Day in sadness, as do many, over the recent tragedy at Ft. Hood, Texas. At first, my heart was hot within me, and I desired to invoke my wrath upon what I perceived to be the enemy. It was one man, however. I can only pray God's justice is done.

Gone are many young and wonderful people. In grief their families and loved ones mourn. All they wanted to do was serve their country. And so many others wounded. I cannot describe my sadness.

And yet, in the end, I see hope for America. We have been down many times before. We always fight back. We are a nation of fighters. The same spirit that lived in our founding fathers can still be found here. Yes, it is more diluted by those who do not care. By that, I mean illegals who are not here because they love our country, but to get away from a worse one. I guess I can't blame them. I wouldn't want to live in squalor either.

But I remembder. I remember young guys like John Burch, a friend with a '57 Chevy, who was in love with my sister (they never dated though). John's remains were never found. I remember Rob Leader, the first kid I ever drank a beer with. He is gone too. His name engraved on the Wall, in Washington D.C. and in Portland Oregon, where I go at times. To remember.

Gone is my father, who came here, barely escaping the Nazi's in Germany, with his parents. He fought for the Navy in WWII against the Japanese in the Pacific. He did not die in combat. But I remember. He fought for God's Truth.

I sit in church with other vets. We all feel the same right now. I can't even describe it. Tears are in my eyes now, as I write. God in Heaven, let this sadness pass. And Bless our troops and their families. Bless America. Help us to return to what we were. Land of the Free. Home of the Brave.

Please, if you have a flag, put it at half mast on Veteran's Day. And to you that are not of this country, God Bless you, for being our stalwart allies. Wally