Untitled
November 19, 2008 12:51pm
Oh soughing wind, carry this body high
Let my spirit take flight into a velvet sky
My heart undulates - for the sun it yearns
My mind beckons and my …
Progress
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SugarEmbargo 
3:40pm, February 14, 2009
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About Me
SugarEmbargo
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About Me
I am an office manager by day. I work in retail at night and on the weekends to make ends meet and also to save up to go back to school. I love to read books and would like to one day write one myself. I have already written several short stories and poems. I have an immense love for nature and wildlife. Naturally, I love animals of all kinds. I would love to one day start a small farm, but not to harvest the animals, just what I grow from the earth. But, I am not perfect. That's why I'm here.
I am an office manager by day. I work in retail at night and on the weekends to make ends meet and also to save up to go back to school. I love to read books and would like to one day write one myself. I have already written several short stories and poems. I have an immense love for nature and wildlife. Naturally, I love animals of all kinds. I would love to one day start a small farm, but not to harvest the animals, just what I grow from the earth. But, I am not perfect. That's why I'm here.
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Interests
Some of my favorite bands include: NIN, Alice in Chains, STP, Lynard Skynard, Led Zeppelin, Smashing Pumpkins, Portishead, Tool, Tori Amos, Ween, Stabbing Westward, R.E.M., Nirvana, Fuel, Gorillaz, Incubus, Jimi Hendrix, Peter Gabriel, The Who, Guns N Roses, Enigma, WAY TOO MANY TO MENTION!! My Favorite Movies: The Crow, Untamed Heart, Bram Stoker's Dracula, The Wedding Singer, pretty much anything by Will Ferrell, Legend, Willow, The Sixth Sense, etc. Again, too many to mention them all...
Some of my favorite bands include: NIN, Alice in Chains, STP, Lynard Skynard, Led Zeppelin, Smashing
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Here Comes the Rain
November 3, 2008 9:47am
I don't know if I can weather this one....
I'll never escape....death seems imminent at this point.
No motherfucking joke...
I …
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4lbs total for the goal, lost 8lbs altogether
October 29, 2008 8:34am
I lost 2 more lbs which now puts me in the 140's bracket. YESSS!!!!!!!
The total for my goal is 4lbs, but I had lost 4lb before I started …
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Taking some time off from DS
October 22, 2008 9:45am
I'm going to take some time off from DS. I may post some pics of Halloween and update my goals, but I'm not going to peruse the forums and …
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Hugbook
Hug
Shug! Your back! Where have you been. I was really worried! So glad you're alright! X
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I’m With You
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Little Love
I hope you have been keeping well, I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers
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Little Love
Mega Hug and love, thanks for your friendship you are a star
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Hug
Just to let you know that I am thinking of you and wish you joy and happiness
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Food Addiction
I am not morbidly obese. I am not several pounds overweight, at least for now. I am the person that eats a meal and makes others think I haven't had anything to eat all day; the one who eats three times the amount of food required to sustain an average person until the next meal. Then goes for that moonpie in the snack machine. My belly is about to bust, but still I eat. Then when no one is looking I cover my face in disgust and even confusion as to how I ever ended up this way...a binge eater.
Treatments
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- I have tried working out cleansing diets anything to motivate me to keep going but to be honest I fear this is a psychological thing. I have overcome so many obsticles in my life but still hurting from my insecurities. I guess this binge eating thing has become my secret vice.
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingIt's the call no one wants to get. "Your brother was in an accident..." He didn't make it. He was 18. I don't think I have ever loved someone as much as him. It will be 4 yrs soon and it just seems like yesterday we were fighting to see who could say "I love you" more times in one minute...
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- I needed to get it all out.
- Getting Angry Working / Worked
- I could still scream.
- Keeping Busy Working / Worked
- I started working three jobs after his death.
- Music Working / Worked
- Anger music mainly
- Pets Working / Worked
- Pets have always been theraputic for everything
- Poetry Working / Worked
- If you can somehow craft your emotions into words, it does help.
- Remembering Working / Worked
- I think about him everyday
- Scrapbooking Working / Worked
- I want to share our memories with others
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Here I am...
- Talking Working / Worked
- I vent about it ALL THE TIME.
- Time Working / Worked
- Time always helps to heal the broken hearted.
Open Sexual Abuse
When I was a child, I was molested on several occasions by my mom's live-in boyfriend. I was also molested by my pre-school teacher who was charged and convicted in my case as well as other cases. I only recently told my mom about her now ex-boyfriend.
Treatments
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I recently told my mom over lunch a little bit of what happened with her ex. She seemed very upset at first, but these days it doesn't even feel like I told her. Maybe if she saw him she would do something awful to him like slash his tires or yell and scream at him. In a way I am glad I told her, but I still feel mostly the same about what happened. I don't really feel relieved.
Open Anxiety
I have had anxiety all my life. Recently, I began having panic/anxiety attacks. It scares me when this happens, but I don't know what to do about it.
Treatments
Open Financial Challenges
I bought a house w/ my now ex-fiance in '03. It all went downhill after that. Sudden death, school expense, fiance took everything I had, car accident, etc. All these things happened, one after the other. I can't seem to get ahead no matter how hard I try. And all I do is try. I have worked since I was 15 and babysat before that. Now I have wasted my 20's working my life away to keep my house because damnit, I'm proud of what I have. But, pride has gotten me nowhere. So here I am; still broke.
Treatments
- Budgeting Not Working
- Everytime I start to budget, a disaster happens and I have to use up all my money I planned to budget!!!
- Cut Up Credit Cards Working / Worked
- I never had a credit card problem. My ex-fiance stuck me with a credit card that he put my name on to help build my credit. How ironic.
- Debt Consolidation Not Working
- I was told my credit was so bad at one point that I couldn't even qualify to finance. It is better now, but no need to consolidate because I took care of the other debts.
- Earn Money Somewhat Helpful
- Well, I have worked two jobs since 2004 and last year I worked 3 jobs: Two full-time and one part-time, but now back to two jobs.
Open Dizziness & Vertigo
Not sure what the real culprit is at this point. I feel dizzy often. Sometimes it is worse than normal. The room will shift suddenly or I will tip over when I get up after a deep sleep.
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Wow, this is so embarrassing. I never would have imagined I had any type of OCD, but after much research I discovered this may be possible. Of all things: sexual obsessions. NOT addiction. Let me make that very clear! I need to figure this out before it ruins my life!
Open Vegetarians & Vegans
My philosophy is this: If you raise your hand to a plant it does not cower in fear - an animal will. Any living creature capable of complex emotion is neither inferior or superior to a human, therefore, should not be consumed against its will. I no longer wish to consume the flesh of any living being that is capable of or by design can fear and love. It is just not right and we all know it is unnecessary.
