Future7's Journal

although i have NOT thrown up in almost 2 years, i am still so aggravated by food and image.  i try so hard to eat healthy and keep myself at a "healthy" yet "slender" yet "not too skinny" weight.  i do a good job during the week...i pack healthy lunches and eat healthy dinners and because i am so busy running to work and getting the baby taken care of i don't really have time to go crazy.

on the weekends, it is an entirely different story.  it's like, as soon as i have one bad meal i have commited to eating nothing but crap all weekend.  it's crazy, throughout the course of a week i gain and lose about 5 pounds.  i put on 5 over the weekend, and through the week i take it off again.  so right now it is saturday, and i am sitting here feeling like a pig because i pigged out last night and this morning there is chocolate to eat and it is valentine's day so i know i am going to pig out.  i feel like such a cow.

i hate the "all or nothing" mentality.  i wonder if this is ever going to change....

i guess i just need to be grateful that i am not hoarding food and throwing up anymore, but i really hope that somewhere in the future i will have a truley healthy attitude towards eating and food.