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itsmylife 
8:42am
cannot be stuck all of the time in the "what if's." Wish i could make sense out of this old world but i'm no longer feeling so idealistic. could it be i'm free of some of those ever present delusions ? could it be i am finally coming into my own? if that is so, why is it growing up so difficult for this street wise self proclaimed prophet of the streets? in my youth, i was powerless, and something happened, i became a woman with a VOICE. i used it and then i wrote with it and then i was automomous. free to be whoever i wanted. but what i wanted was not what i was given. the streets are not the place for dream makers. the streets have a blues all their own. and i never could find the melody though, God knows, i tried. those streets where i lived and died daily. i know now my blood is not for public consumption and i will not break bread ever again for those whose faith is limited by the dope man. my God, i survived the predictions and the odds but it came at a cost. somewhere along the way i forgot i was a mother and as i type this i have to wonder how could this possibly be ? she is there and i am here but i am her mother and don't you ever think otherwise. the same moonlit stars shine in the same God heavens and we are but a heartbeat away but we are ! mother and daughter. it will always be so. still, i am often frightened, vulnerable, uncertain but, dear God, i have this baby girl and, please God, do not, ever, let me let her down again. amen............
Resistance Fighter
expecting nothing
Knowing I'm no ones darling
I wish for nothing larger
than my healing my own bruised heart.
I resist.
The dopers, the liquor stores, the corner pharmacy
i accept the contradictions
of my life
Live frugally on surprise.
i resist.
An outcast
Occasionally warmed by my own spirit
And the life Iv'e led
I need not your approval
To clap my own hands
You- sir and madame-
I have a parka for the soul.
She is my daughter
Her given name is Maia
and when she is not a poem-
she is a warrior.
Comments
Loved this devon and you and your wee girl with be back together very soon, love you lotsxxxxxxxxx
rose1
you seem to have alot of words of wisdom now. Isnt amazing what it takes for us to learn the hard way, but without the experience noone could tell us without going through it. You take care and you seem to be thinking alittle to hard, be careful that.... love ya...
seekn
it's good to hear u rised up above things, I was there too with a few things
cowboy357
YOU KNOW DEVON,YOU ARE AN INSPRIATION TO ME,THIS IS THE INTERNET,BUT YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW I LOOK UP TO!!
Hokte
Devon that was simply beautiful...Maia is so lucky to have you for her mom!!!!
hike
You are a wonderful mother and should never question that devon, maia knows that and the day will come when you are together again, never to be seperated for anything ever.And I can tell that you are now thinking with a clear and sober mind, you are on the right path to happiness, god bless you devon and maia. hugs eddie
eddieswork
Well u might have found some things about u and what happen around u
my friend and its cool if its all good!Remember then even if we grow old,the heart still young and love alway possible!
xxx Dead Soul xxx
reborn1
WHOA 'live frugally on surprise" i had to ponder that line for a while.
i love your writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRAN5
Wow. Great words, your children are lucky....
jas76
what everyone looks for you to write???? I know i get inspired... thanks D
gette
I love this! Thanx for sharing.
Athenean
Your journal was full of a well balance of reality, the hard reality and the occasional beauty. Your poem is lovely and shows the strength of your lovely spirit.
Cateyes101
Keeep your faith. You have found where false faith lays and got out. You are now a loving mom with a loved daughter and in time your faith will bring you together. Bless you friend.
AliasPandaBaby
My dear, you are now swimming in the cold, deep end of the pool. Welcome to your deepest needs and deepest feelings. They don't hurt, you are on the cusp of opening up new chapters in your life. Shed the book cover, break the spine, and throw your pages to the wind so someone else can enjoy them. Loosen up, kid...you are an adult with all of it's privileges. Stand the throttles and live.
c140cfi
awsome entry my lady of words x
jazza66
i am so proud of uxxx
kate46
i love your writing makes ya think, hugs and love to ya ..ooh yea and a smile from well..texas hehe
4sheba
Love your writing, I know where you have been I lost my daught when I was in the streets, she lives in new york and I live in dallas by gods grace I can see her now 4 to 5 times a year. stay strong, let go and let god.
peace and light
M
fatfree1
That was so beautiful. I feel your pain and hopes and dreams. My old life has left a hole in my heart that hasnt yet been filled by my daughters forgiveness.
All I can do is let go and let God take charge. And pray that one day I can reach out and have her reach back.
You are a beautiful writter. Have a grand Sunday ! oxoxs
5dog
YOu have such a beautiful way with words--it's like a window to your soul. I pray for you and your daughter. Love you!
amberleah