2yr anny
November 5, 2009 11:07pm
Tomorrow(nov 6th) is the 2yr anny of my dads passing and i am at a lost of what to feel. part of me is just ready to die. i have over come so much …
Goal Completed on Jan 21, 09
christineurbanJOHN
11:24pm, November 5, 2009
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About Me
christineurbanJOHN
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About Me
I lost my dad on November 6th of 2007 to a heart attack. My brother and dad went hunting that weekend and my brother woke up and found my dad not breathing on November 4th. He was rushed to the hospital and never woke up. We came to a difficult decision to take my dad off of life support November 6th 2007. Me and my dad had a very distant relationship during his passing and now the guilt is literally killing me. I don't use the people around me and find my pushing away when I know I should be doing the opposite. I miss my dad very much.
I lost my dad on November 6th of 2007 to a heart attack. My brother and dad went hunting that weekend and my brother woke up and found my dad not breathing on November 4th. He was rushed to the hospital and never woke up. We came to a difficult decision to take my dad off of life support November 6th 2007. Me and my dad had a very distant relationship during his passing and now the guilt is literally killing me. I don't use the people around me and find my pushing away when I know I should be doing
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Interests
My life revolves around my family and my boyfriend of 5 years. I have a little sister(18) and little brother(14).
My life revolves around my family and my boyfriend of 5 years. I have a little sister(18) and little
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Recent Activity
November 5
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christineurbanJOHN updated their status 11:24pm
Is it time to come see you again now dad?…
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christineurbanJOHN wrote a discussion post in the Alcoholism support group: losing a parent 11:21pm
Since losing my dad 2 yrs ago I have begun to drink heavily and I just want someone to talk to that has…
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christineurbanJOHN wrote a discussion post in the Bereavement support group: 2yr anniversary 11:13pm
Tomorrow(Nov 6th) will be the 2nd anny of my dads passing. I remember like it was yesterday and I sit…
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christineurbanJOHN wrote a journal entry: 2yr anny 11:07pm
Tomorrow(nov 6th) is the 2yr anny of my dads passing and i am at a lost of what to feel. part of me is…
April 13
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christineurbanJOHN turned 22 12:00am
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Journal
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Journal Entry for October 26, 2009
October 26, 2009 9:29pm
I find myself drinking more and more and I feel like its a plea for someone to pay attention to me. It feels like everyone pushed this whole …
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Made an offer....
May 17, 2009 8:22pm
Today was the day we signed papers to put an offer on a house we found in Coon Rapids. Now we wait to see what the sellers say.... its very nerve …
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Journal Entry for March 12, 2009
March 12, 2009 9:25pm
It is official!!
March 8th 2009 Matt proposed! It was me and him just by ourselves on the beach @ night @ cancun mexico and we were walking on …
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Grandpa....
January 21, 2009 7:24pm
Rip grandpa!
When I stop to remember you, I remember the fireworks on 4th of july. You always bought the biggest and the best fireworks from …
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Hugbook
Ray of Sunshine
thinking about you, hun. xoxo
Present
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! luv and hugs, Lori
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Ray of Sunshine
hello sweetheart. i haven't seen anything from you in a while. how are you? hang in there. xoxo
Hug
here is a great big bear hug for you today. {{{{{hugs}}}}} Jan
Hug
Everyone deals with their grief in different ways. I lost my husband on 7/20 of this year. I had to take down pictures of him we had in the house because all I would do was cry. I've since put some of them back up but it's still hard. I also drive by the hospital where he passed away and it just feels strange not to go in. I tend to try drive the hospital a little fast to get by it quicker. It makes me so sad to know that he died there. Keep your chin up. I'll be sending more hugs!!
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ParentNov 6th 2007 my dad passed away from a heart attack. My younger brother and him were hunting and my dad was not breathing in the a.m so he was flown to the hospital and was on max life support. We never got to say goodbye to him and I live with the regret that we didnt end on good terms. I would die if I was for sure going to see him again.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- I cry alone because it makes others uncomfortable. It gives me relief for that bit of time but not long term.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- I do it every day but it doesnt work.
- Grief Counseling Considering
- Always wanted to but I dont want ppl too listen to my problems when they have their own.
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- It works while I am busy but as soon as it stops I am right where I started.
- Remembering Working / Worked
- I find my self repeatedly watching his funeral video and going to his obituary. I cry everyday.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- My family(mom,sis and bro) are my world but without the man in my life I wouldn't be here. At times I feel I make them uncomfortable.
- Talking Not Working
- It helps to vent and get it off my chest but the pain starts right back up again.
- Time Not Working
- Over time it gets easier to manage but time doesnt bring back my dad
Close Diets & Weight Maintenance
I am extremely paranoid of what I look like and eat.
Treatments
- Counting Calories Somewhat Helpful
- Frustrating more than anything.
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- I feel better about myself when I dont eat all that gross greasy foods.
- Eat Less Working / Worked
- I feel smaller and that I will lose weight faster if I barely eat.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- I feel amazing after I am done with the gym but always feel like I should of been there longer.
Open Depression Supporters
My dad died in November 07 and had severe depression. I have never been diagnosed with depression but I honestly feel as if I am.
Open Healthy Relationships
Been with my boyfriend for 5 years in July
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Groups
