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DisApeArfromME 
9:29pm
I don't know why, but this morning while I was getting ready to go out I started have an odd feeling and just wanting to cry not sure if it was from anxiety or setting in of my depression again....so I get to sunday school class and am talking to my friend who I help in there and she told me she has to go to a funeral today and won't be at church.....I just joined this church a month ago after she got me to go with her so i guess technically its her church anyways....I don't know why but i almost lost it after she told me and i dont know why....i should be fine with me going for me but for some reason i get like that where it just feels like people are abandoning me i dont know if it has anything to do with my childhood or issues i dont know about with that but i wish i could get past this having to do stuff with everyone else and then also getting attached to someone and then i will always be watching them or trying to get them to notice me doing something or just in general getting them to notice me especially if they are doing something else or paying more attention to someone else....I dont know why i get like that....or also when i talk to my old therapist on the phone right when i know shes going to say shes gotta go i get really upset like shes abandoning me by not being able to talk to me.....i dont know how to fix any of this though,............
Comments
Have you discussed this with your current therapist? As long as you base your happiness on others, you will be hurt and disappointed. You have to be OK with you. Have you made other friends at church since you've been going there? Are you involved in any activities at the church besides Sunday services? Just hold your head up, take a deep breath, and GO. You ARE fine by yourself. You don't have to have a friend beside you. Do not get your sense of self-worth from the attention paid to you by others.
debah
No, don't have current therapist. I dont know how to be ok with me.....i know ppl at the church but not really friends, i help teach the sunday school class with my friend and her friend. its too far for me to be involved in much more. I dont feel im ok by self.....other ppl say they can go to movies by self i cant and it drives me crazy cuase sometimes i just want to be able to get up and go to a movie but feel like everyones watching if i go by self
DisApeArfromME
Why are you not in therapy now, sweetie? It sounds like you really need to be...you have to learn to be OK alone, even if you are able to be with others most of the time. (((HUGS)))
mom2michelle
time wise and money am not able to at this moment
DisApeArfromME