miahugsandprayers's Journal

Hey there my friends,this is such a mad time for me right now.

In the space of a week I have been offerd a 2 bedroom house in Ashford Kent whith a hot tub in the garden.And my daughter has been offerd a 2 bedroom house just 3 min away from me.I have another daughter and family down there too.The landlord has given me permission to do what I want with the house ,he is a freind of my son.in.law.And the houseing benifit peaple said they will pay the rent,but I have to put 50 pounds a month on top.Its all a dream come true.BUT, I am so afraid to go.

My mum is so sick now she can,t see,can,t talk right,her ankles have swollen up and she is not going to the toilet.The doc said she thinks that she has cancer now and there is nothing we can do now its gone to far.She has to have a x-ray but she can,t move,so we don,t know if we can get her there.She will not go to hospitail,and she never has as long as I have known her.When mum was young she was blind from something she had that was a bad illness when she was young and she spent 8 years in hospitail so now she will not go anywhere near one.

I saw her yesterday and I had to keep going outside,did not want her to see me crying.My Poor sister is so depresed with it all,you see mum has never been that close to me,but my sister has always been with her she has seen her evey day for as long as I can remember they are like joined twins .Over the years I have offten wonderd how I would feel when she pased away,well now I am getting to feel it,I thought I would not be so hurt as things where not great between us,but that changed for me when I gave my life to God,all the forgivness and the love of the Lord helped me.And now I am faceing so much and I don,t know what to do.Peaple are telling me to trust in God and he will see me through all this,but my mind id so confused right now.Do I move?what if mum go,s when I am down there?I just don,t know .