alvin1954's Journal

I got up a 3am could not go back to bed I,am suposed to go hunting with m son He did not call last night I made sanwiches and stuff to .go on the trip so just waiting to see if he will show up .I called Mental Health to make appointment  to see my  shrink but  I will  not beable to see untill  December /It is pretty slow out here to see a doc. of any kind that blows I,am still pretty depressed and thoughts of suciede roam in my head It is a fight I tell you .Day after day it goes and I know it is just the bipilar and it is not me but in a sence it is me If you can make any sence out of that and OF courst you want to take the things that used to  talk you out ot this like my booze and drugs so it is a theree way fight with me will I win I hope so I half keep on trying because if I donot I will most likley  die so thie is what is  going on in my head well enough of this depressing  shit Every one of you try have a great weekene