lostone84's Journal

I dont know why i am so worried. i am though. i hate it. i hate that i care so much. i hate that i let people get to me. i hate that i worry all the time about things i have no control over. i worry that my boss doesnt like me. that this one girl hates me. i dont know what to do. i worry everyone is watching me and waiting to find anything to get me in trouble with. what do i do? i am trapped in an environment where i am always on guard.i hate it. why cant we all get along and let things go?? In the rest of my life, my supposed friends have pretty much abandoned me. After having several days where i am at my limit, i get a text from one of them asking how i am doing. now, over the past week, I have been very emotional and freaking out a lot. They just say calm down...you will be fine. they don't care enough to check on me, to ask me out to get my mind off things, and then have the audacity to be mad at me for not being there for things I did not know about because they didnt tell me. Then tell me that they were worried!!! They didnt seem worried. sometimes i feel like I am the only person that cares or does anything. I still can't figure out how to relax...without the aid of alcohol or other things. I have been sober officially for 2 weeks but i have not once relaxed.Which probably has something to do with my recent breakdowns.