boxermc2's Journal

O.K., I’ll admit it; this sort of snuck up on me.  Somewhere between the initial horror of my first year and my two year anniversary next month, HIV really has become a non-issue in my world. 

I’m sure this comes as no surprise to any veteran HIVer but when I was first diagnosed I wanted to slap everyone across the face who said, “You’ll be fine, take your meds religiously and you’ll live a long healthy life”.  BULLSHIT, I thought to myself, “You just don’t want me to mess up your parking lot by jumping out this window”.   Well, in fact, HIV has become something I live with.  Neither of us is going anywhere soon, so we have become accustomed to one another.  I have accepted HIV and in return I no longer crap my pants from fear and misinformation I received on the net, the street and from anyone who would listen.

So, the aforementioned having been said, the recent diagnosis of a friend has somehow elevated me to the roll of teacher.  I find myself emailing him articles, asking him to join Dailystrength.org (which has been an enormous help to me) and providing way more information than he is probably willing to read.  (See slap across the face above). 

So who does this leave out?  Anyone of us who is in a relationship with a non-poz partner knows the answer to that question.  I have been afforded access to some of the best caregivers in my area.  I have gone to one on one as well as group counseling most of which is available simply by going on line or picking up the phone.  BUT our primary support group, our husbands, wives and partners are left to fend for themselves with little or no support.  They, for the most part, are caught somewhere between what they see in our eyes, read on our faces, and pick up along the way. 

So as I move forward in this never ending battle between CD4 counts and meds I still can’t pronounce, I am committed to helping those who helped us most, simply by staying put.   So to the Tommy’s of the world, here’s a big hug and thank you and I’ll continue to look for ways to make you all feel better.