angelofthedarknite's Journal

Well, I know it's been a while since i last wrote in here but I have been busy, the money came through from my grant that I wrote a few weeks ago and my friend and I have booked our ferry tickets to get from the south island to the north island, and we both have enough to go. At the moment, for the next 2 weeks I'm going to be selling all my stuff that I can't take with me, or that I don't wanna take so yay I can't wait to start a new life up in the north island... much better weather! I can't wait until I leave, it's only 2 weeks tomorrow to wait... my feet r so itchy it's driving me insane!!! I have 2 more sessions with my therapist to go and thats a scary thought, coz Ive been seeing her since 2006 (with a year taken off when I wasn't studying) and she's helped me so much, it's going to be sad but I can't keep relying on others for advice, and help, I need to stand on my own two feet. When I get home (after 3 days of driving) I'm going to tell my mum EVERYTHING, my cutting, my depression, my borderline personality, my drug taking, my Out Patient Group therapy, my one on one therapy, absolutely everything, I don't know if it will change anything for the better or worse or just stay the same, but I feel mum needs to know whats been going on since my dad passed away and before. God, she thought the Self Harming was a phase that I would grow out of when she found out when I was 16 but 10 years on and I WAS still doing it. It's been 4 months since I last cut and my therapist and I agree that I have basically given it up for good. I do have to admit, I do still need therapy, but it's therapy that I can't do while I'm here, it's gotta be when I move up north. Well, I need to get to bed, going to visit people tomorrow that I haven't seen for weeks, and don't know if I will have time to see them before I move. SO TTFN!

Chrissie