Journal

Hi everyone,I am sorry I have not written or sent any hugs recently,but I am going through a rough time,and I really do not want to bore anyone,but hear goes.

I am going through a rough time,and I feel that the people who are suppose to support you,throw you into the woods,with steak sauce plastered on you so the wolves can have dinner.

I am having an issue at work, that should never have happened,and it appears almost 2 yrs later, and not one Boss has ever ( we had 4 since last year ) brought it to my attention, because if they did it would have been fixed and done. I contacted my Union Officle and it is being worked on. I have all my documentation, which is in my favor. My new Boss has given me no support or help on this matter,nor has any higher ups-to be honest with you they only care about themselves. Funny thing they say if you need any assistance just call HA HA. I work with people who would throw you under the first bus take passes by.

You may say look for another job,well I wish I could. I am with this compay for 24 yrs,and I have never been treated like this before. I kept in contact with my former boss who was the greatest,and he still gives me  support even though he is no longer there.I know I will get through this,but it is like a dark cloud that follows me,and I just want it to be done with.

Every time I try and discuss this issue with my Boss,she give a different excuse why she can not

sit with me. Out of respect for her position I let her know what i am doing her reply " Do what you have to " To be honest with you wheather she realizes it or not this will come back to bite her, she is the head of this facility. At the moment I have a hard time trusting anyone.

With this being said,it brings me to my personal  issues-Trust.

I trust people,but when I am lied to and kept in the dark by people whom I love very much it hurts. I went through a difficult last year, and I thought it was buried and done with, not so.     

The issue of trust was discussed along with not keeping things from me. To me once you break a trust with me It becomes very hard to trust again. Each time I start trusting again,I find out that once again people are not being open and honest,especially people of whom I am relationships with. I am not stupid I know what is going on,so why does this person choose to keep things from me. They want me to be a part of their life only when it benefits them. I try to be supportive and I sometimes do things for others that I am not comfortable with,but I do it because it means alot to them. We at sometimes get selfish,everyone at sometime or another is guilty it,for what ever reason,it is human nature., but to keep doing it knowing how this person feels is another story.

At the moment I am done, I wish that i could disappear. I am a strong person,but there are times it gets overwelming, and I can feel myself getting depressed and mad at the same time.

I see people with issues that are so much worse the mine,and I do thank God I have been blessed with so many things. It just hurts that the ones you are with have to be so secreative,folks  it comes out in the wash at some point,it may not be tomorrow or the next day

and believe me when it does come out,it looks worse then it is. How hard is it, when you care about someone who is in your life,why must it be an issue to be honest and open. I guess i am just having a hard time right now,and it will pass I HOPE,I needed to vent. Right the only one I can trust right now are my children and my Puppy who is the joy of my life. Thank you for your time.

Well it has been 2 months now since my Spinal Fusion Surgery,I feel somewhat better,

I am just impatient with this healing process. The Dr. wanted me to stay out another

month,but from what I hear my Finance unit is somewhat falling apart. I told my Boss

since I am coming back early-to cut me some slack,I will get the job done just don't

expect me to function like I did before the surgery. This post op is draining and so slow

going, not to mention I have to wear this clumsy back brace. For once I will think of my health.

We have another Supervisor who works there-she is a real peace of work. The boss is aware

of her coming and going basicly she kinda makes up her own hours,she is the type that

would never give a little more,she just thinks of herself, I guess we all have one in our

offices. I guess I am feeling a little overwelmed only because I know what I have to do.

Besides all the paper work-I have I have to deal with my somewhat stuborn employees

and on pain in the ass Back Up supervisor-who is only doing the job because there is no

one else-he is a Clerk and not a I say a real Supervisor-besides that he is an old

fashion Itialian who believes women should bow to him-a know it all, I have had some

altercations at one time or another. Everyone in our office knows he is a KISS UP-at times

it really makes you sick, I don't need to kiss up-I get the job done, and I well speak my

mind. To make things worse-previous Bosses of whom I worked with took me in

their confidance and told me to watch my back with him-how low can you get-when you

can not trust people you have to work with-especially management. Well I know what needs

to be done-I guess it will take time-first day is always the worse.I just hope my Boss

understands and keeps her word with my hours.

I just hope by the time vacation comes I will be able to travel-sitting in the car seems to

be the worse. BF has a chance to meet someone-I told him I do not know how I will

feel and that he should go even if it is for a few days-he needs this, and he is finally

getting his wish, and I am trying to be supportive of him. Well that is another subject

I bored you guys enough-D-day is coming-to all have a great weekend and some

spring time hugs to all my friends.

Hi Everyone,

I would like to share this remarkable story.

I was home recooperating from surgery and my dog Lexus sleeps at the bottom of the bed,and thank God she does. On Jan 15th at 3:00 am Lexus woke up and was trying to get me up.she has done this before and just went back to bed. This day she was persistant. So I managed to get out of bed and I heard a beeping sound and a strong smell of burning oil. I managed to get partner up to see what was going on. He came upstairs and said that the carbon monoxide detector was goin off. He shut off the furnce and called the oil company. While we waited he put me and Lexus in the bedroom and opened up all the windows to try to vent out the house.When the oil company arrived,he said that the fuence was not venting due to a clogged filter and nozzel,he said if we waited any longer we would be over come by the fumes. My shelter dog Lexus is my Hero and my Guarding Angel !!! So you see shelter dogs are the greatest and I am so grateful she came into my life. I saved her and she saved us.

Thank You My Angel.