Work has been too much today. As …
Work has been too much today. As it is every day. Does anyone else ever wonder when the bad days will ever end!
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claire831 
I DID IT I WENT TO THE DOCTORS TODAY I LETF THE HOUSE AT LAST I KNOW........
ONE COLOUR FACE CHANGE 
ok it was not ease by any means one of the hardest things i hasve done my dad come right up to my front door to pick me up. the waiting room was the word part i have never noticed before but the walls feel like they fall in wards. it was totally packed to so that didnt help, and of course she was late,
steve wanted to come in with me buti wanted and had to do it myself if he came in i wouldnt have opened up to her,
i toold her about te voices about the wanting ti hurt him and ppl that are around me, it felt good to let it out but i couldnt cry i couldnt totally let go. one major part i did miss out but i need to work on that one myself first.
she talked for about 20 mins she has put me on Diazepam for 2 week at 10mg 3 times a day. so i may not be about around for a bit think i may be sleeping for the whole 2 weeks.
when i came home i was so wound up panic attack hit big time. so i ran the sarmartins(i know the spelling) i was on the phone for over an hour and half. i just broke down and cried my eyes out so so much that i didnt have any tears left insideof me, i think i cried for now what im going through what im putting ppl i love through, and all the abuse i have had that i have never cried for i thinj the first hour was crying but it felt like such a release, i was knackered when i came off and i talked about everything even that one thing that one thing i cant even type, so that was huge,
i was so tired that i fell asleep for about 3 4 hours it was the best sleep i have had in i dont know how many years i would have to say i think, i think it was the release of crying and the diazepam and today was a new patch day as well so that stronger hmmm nice.
i know this is the start of a very very long and bumpy road and major off road trips a head i think but i feel that today is the day i can feel lke i can start to live. first day of my new life or is this the drugs talking either i am high as a kite right now
take care my friends love and prays go out to all off you and i hope i can soon be back to helping my friends in there time of need.
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Honey, this is great. Something to make the voices stop. And give you good sleep. And thank god the dr was able to make you feel better. All that crying is grief. You have had it locked inside for so long. And now you are releasing it. Keep writing in your journal to let it out.
Amurphy01
I am so proud of you,you made a major step today.
Things are going to be better for you now.
Each day you will better and better.
And don't worry if your not here for awhile because we'll all be waiting for you when you come back.
Just take care of you and don't worry about anyone else.
Much love and prayers I am sending your way.
evelena
Wow, what a step forward. Youve done really well today. Crying is just your body letting go and starting the healing. Well done for getting out of the house and seeing the Dr. You should be congratulating yourself now. Hold onto this.
Bug big hugs :)
CM007
So proud of you Claire. Let it all out sweetie so you can heal. Your friends are here for you.
mammy