MadcapLaughs's Journal

Wow, it has been so long since I have been here? Let alone writing anything here?

However I am back for a while, I think in someways it is because I have no where else to go, and in others it is because I am getting afraid, my tolerence is low for my illness, and I just am not sure what direction to head in? I came here looking for others who have no idea what to do, others that feel so low and afraid that they are worried about not only their general well being, but they are concerned with the fact that they are ill and sometimes have a tough time coming to terms with the fact that this is it, it is here to stay!

At least if I had a terminal illness I would have an idea of what to expect? Now I just sit here and hope I wake up in some sort of fair mood and that I  can function for a few hours to trick everyone that I am ok, and that I don't need t be in a hospital again? Of course I am only kind of joking about that, as I don't think I need to go back to the hospital again, but there are some days when I think it would help, but I remember last time and how little I felt that they did for me? So that idea isn't going to happen. (In case you are wondering, it was my idea last time and I drove myself to the hospital, so I have the facilities to recognize the depth of my illness.!)

 Till I feel the need to share something, Ciao!