MadcapLaughs's Journal

All the anguish is still there, it's not like I really expected it to just up and leave like it was a friend that owed me money and today was payday. I look for small pieces of time, or even moments of clarity when my anguish has subsided?  Ohh, it's not that I look at life and think, "Gee how can I make it worse?" It is just that there are times when the patterens of grayness float into my perception a little too often, and these are the days when the pain exceeds, and even outnumbers the ways for me to be anesthetized at least self - anesthetized, which in people like us is the usual method. 

I am not sure why it feels the need to simmer to the top, but i know that like so many others before me, it's shelf life if more often then not worth my effort to fight it. As it seems the more I fight it, the more time that is really wasted on projects that could really of a positive nature. So I get to float between these two areas, and I wonder where the truth lie, I ask myself this, we are only here for so many years. Find someone that makes you smile, make them smile and try to keep yourself nice and anesthetized, because you are not going to remember most of it anyways, so you may as well enjoy it while you can!

Well, here is my thought for this few minutes...