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lilMid 
8:23am, November 12, 2009
stage one all over again. this sucks...i had only just got past this stage last time and now im through it all again...i do anything for someone to give me a blade right now. now i know i dont WANT to cut because of the sadness it would bring those around me but its the only thing i know now.if anyone can tell me anouther way to stop me being anxious in college or anouther way to calm down please all sugesstions would be welcomed.
there was a strange man in our house yesturday, he was here to do a survey on the door because my stepdad is getting a new one. it was really bad...i was home alone i already wasnt very stable and this strange man...smelling of B.O and cheap aftershave, the smell of HIM and then looking like him...yuk...i felt violated all over again and this man didnt come near me...but i havent been right.
the weather today is accurate its dull and rainy so no1 could tell i was in tears on the way home from town x
UPDATED GOALS
be better
Progress 15%
Encouragements: 2
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Comments
well i did 3 months (give and take a few days) i did that many months without cutting then started college anxiety was just too bad to cope
not lets try again right? x
Comments
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Well done!!!!!! Three months is awesome. You can start again. You just had a hiccup. Tomorrow is a new day. Great to see some smiley faces......
Good luck with college - I know you can do well. xo
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thank you ozfm
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you did good! you can go it again!!
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ill try x
roses come in every shape and sizes,
big or small.
the colours they mean something,
the red one means i love you,
shows a passion deep within,
the orange one says be my friend.
something special.
my old rose was something special
she was blonde topped and sweet,
she was unlike any other rose,
but she ropped me in,
her thorns dug in much,
now what ihave is.
a lone bloody rose.
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thanks hun x
Past Entries
Goal Updated
when i am anxious i listen to a relaxation CD the music is calm and smooth and somehow calms down my insides from being so shaky like my skin is crawling, hope this helps
grammydebest
ty momma i need get obne of those cds x
lilMid
Get yourself a tens unit......it is designed for muscle stimulation and had adjustable currents......it can be very relaxing and stress relieving. Yes it is a bit of an investment to get one 60-80 bucks.....but are well worth it. It might also be a substitute for cutting. Plus since it is portable you can take it anywhere. Just a suggestion.
rennikc
when i am stress noramly i read or i go for a walk or i get on the computer try a stress ball they are at walmart and stuff and you sqeuzze them to releave stress
sarah246359